What age did you introduce Tznius to DD

Ruchel

Thu, Aug 19 2010, 7:53 am

imaima wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

ididit wrote:

-when walking with your DD, mention passing ladies who are dressed tzniusly as being "pretty", "lovely", "nice". don't use the word "tznius". this way your daughter will associate those words with the look of tznius.
-remember the term "es pas nisht" it means that something is not fitting for you. use this term when DD wants something that is not tznius or aidel. this gives her the message that, like a princess, she is "above" crass things.

oh, I learned so much in such a short lecture. truly pearls to live by...

Won't the little girl start saying also the contrary: "she's not tznius, it's/she is ugly"? My dd does that, I have to tell her it's not allowed to say mean things.

I'm trying now to find a good French translation for es pas nisht. lol My mom used "c'est pas digne de toi" (it's not worthy of you) or "tu es au dessus de ça" (you're above that) when she wanted to prevent me from doing something that didn't feel right.

Why dont you just say es pas nisht? We do not speak yiddish but there are expressions that are better remain untranslated. Do you translate Baruch Hashem and Has veChalila?

Some definitely translate.
I could use es pasht nisht but dd wouldn't understand. Though I'll consider it Very Happy

Yocheved84

Thu, Aug 19 2010, 8:09 am

I think we should remember why it's harder for those to become frum as teens/young adults to stay frum (or identify the following as being one of the biggest challenges)--a large part about it is the clothing. (On a thread last year, people listed 'my pant jeans' as something they missed.)

So while I don't have a daughter, I would think that introducing the concept very early on--so that it's her normal life--is best. The longer you wait, the tougher the transition, nu? Start stocking her closet with skirts. When she is old enough to understand, then sit her down and explain it.

By the way, my parents always left both in my closet and it forever confused me. There are countless pictures of me in pants and a skirt together looking 'unique' :/

smilingmom

Thu, Aug 19 2010, 8:10 am

We let our kids decide on their own, based on peer pressure.
They decided that they want to stop wearing pants or sleeveless on their own when their friends and neighbors did.

One DD, didn't start covering her elbow until she was seven, and in camp continued wearing short sleeves through her teens. She is now a kollel wife with two kids and wears long sleeves.

I truly believe that tznius is something that a person, whether child or adult has to want to do. So if it ia e teacher that inspires them or role modelling, friends and family that gets them to dress tzniusdically, that is fine.

I can't imagine a bigger turnoff to yiddishkeit, then saying you must wear tights or long sleeves in 90 degree weather.

My youngest DD is transitioning from a school that has no rules about dressing outside of school to one that has three pages of rules as to how to dress and behave outside of school. We will see how she fares.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Aug 19 2010, 12:11 pm

Ruchel wrote:

imaima wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

ididit wrote:

Why dont you just say es pas nisht? We do not speak yiddish but there are expressions that are better remain untranslated. Do you translate Baruch Hashem and Has veChalila?

Some definitely translate.
I could use es pasht nisht but dd wouldn't understand. Though I'll consider it Very Happy

Did she understand French when she was 3 months old? They pick up on the meaning in context.