4 yr old DS is not getting it!

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Forum -> Children's Health -> Toilet Training

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Ima2Boys

Tue, Aug 10 2010, 11:04 am

He just turned 4 and has not finished the process of toilet training. He does really well at home when he is in just a long t shirt and nothing on the bottom. BUT he has accidents at home in underwear and every time we leave the house. He uses the bathroom before we leave and sometimes doesn't last 5 minutes out. This seems to be a control issue and I don't know how to help him progress. I'm sure he feels some of the stress around us, we are moving, but life is never perfectly calm. I would appreciate any advice on getting him ready for school where it is expected that by this age kids are trained. Should I let him have a diaper for a week or two and try again? I don't want him to think I doubt his abilities, I know he can do it and try to stay positive and encouraging as much as possible. TIA for any advice

MiracleMama

Tue, Aug 10 2010, 11:19 am

I'm in the same boat. No helpful advice. Just wanted you to know you're not the only one and wish you lots of luck!

su7kids

Tue, Aug 10 2010, 11:27 am

I personally think one of the keys is not to get upset if he hs an "accident". with a move, he is obviously unsettled and that is tough.
I hd one kid trained about a month before his 4th birthday. He knew what to do, just didn't want to.

So, I found out what he realy wanted (real tools) and I went to Toys R Us and I showed him the tools. He chose one and I said, fine, when you keep your underwear clean and dry, we'll come back and get them. (You can't do that with a younger child, because for them, its "out of sight, out of mind")

and when we got home, and he urinated, I said "Do you remember what that felt like before it came out?" He said Yes. I aid, "ok, next time do it in the toilet, and soon you'll get your tools.

Same thing with the bowel movement, and by the 3rd pair of underpants, he was "DONE".

No anger, or frustration shown. Encourage the right things and he'll do it.

zigi

Sun, Aug 22 2010, 2:28 pm

what s7kids said works. tell him that he gets a treat if he can keep his underwear dry. you can give something small if its the begining and check every hour etc. and remind him when you are out of the house take him to the bathroom every hour whether he asks to go or not.

toilet training is a process, it has ups and downs. if he is in control at home stick with it you will get there, also school makes a big difference in the finnishing up of toilet training, all the kids are taken to the bathroom and they see that this one is trained etc and they want to be like them.

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