When teen's room looks awful, what to do?

grace413

Mon, Sep 27 2010, 3:46 am

If your teen is otherwise perfect, you can gently work on this issue. If you have more serious things to deal with insist on no food in room or food garbage taken out daily (as well as sanitary pads) and leave the rest.

If laundry isn't put into hamper or washer it doesn't get done and new things don't get bought because old are dirty or can't be found.

We have occasional cleaning help. I told the kids that the cleaner's job is only to wash their floors and if the floor is covered with clothes it won't get done.

I have a high tolerance for mess, so it's not difficult for me.

Morah, cleaning skills are not that difficult to learn. Many people didn't clean at home as kids/teens. I hate cleaning and do the bare minimum but it's not rocket science. If you have money to hire cleaners, great. If not, you can learn.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Sep 27 2010, 4:14 am

redwudz wrote:

If she does not clean her room, clean it for her. She should be used to living in a clean room, so a messy room will eventually bother her. Let her not become comfortable in a messy room. It will eventually become important to her. Statistics show that kids growing up in a clean environment have less anxiety and a more focused mind.

but if you always will clean it for her, she will also grow up to believe that her mess will always be cleaned for her and she will never learn to cean her own mess. I think that this is the wrong message to give to a child. they make the mess, they must learn to clean up after themselves or else they become very lazy about this. ive seen it.

amother

Tue, Sep 28 2010, 12:13 am

I have a relative who leaves their room a wreck, the person's mother goes crazy!!! she's tried everything, incentives, threats, teaching her how, help, cleaning lady, u can't imagine. her room is in constant state of dissarray, clothing strewn about everywhere, make-up scattered on the floor, bed never made, dirty laundry all over, and yes, the occassional dirty pad and other garbage.

(she is about to start dating) we have told her that her chassan will run screaming in fright from their apartment within 1 week after the wedding. she gets bothered when we tell her to "get cracking" but it seems like she is lacking the skills the recognize a mess and how to deal with it. I'm thinking such teens need serious intervention to learn how to properly care for their possesions and routinely maintain order in their living quarters. it doesn't need to be perfect, just no laundry, garbage, bed made, and basic semblane of order.

I like the idea that the mom gave of literally emptying out EVERYTHING other than basic necessities while kids are in camp...I'm gonna suggest it to that relative...

Merrymom

Thu, Oct 21 2010, 7:05 pm

I gather everything up and sweep it into a huge pile right into the hallway where everyone walks. Then I tell them they have one hour to put it all back neatly where it belongs or I'm putting it in garabage bags in the basement. It never fails to work LOL

sugaray

Fri, Oct 22 2010, 10:44 am

personally, I would ignore all except the used pads. that is just horrifying. I literally gagged when I read that. I was pretty messy as a teen (not to this extent, it was basically clothing all over the room) but now that I am married with my own home, mess bothers me a lot more. let her live in the mess and figure it out. to me, mess is ok but dirty is not. you will have bugs and who knows what else if alll that crud is left alone. if she is so clueless about hygiene, does she wear clean clothes? does she smell? to me, that is the only thing you should crack down on.