When did you tell your children about the Holocaust?

spoons

Wed, Oct 27 2010, 9:28 pm

and in what detail?
what got me wondering:
My DD (7) lately has been obsessed with Jewish , "not Jewish" (I forbid the word "[gentile]") things ('oh! that's Halloween decorations!") and just all around differences. Today she asked when seeing a Jewish dr. and his non-Jewish assistant "how come Jewish people work with not Jewish people?" I explained that it shouldn't matter and if they are good at what they do..and how I don't want her thinking anyone is "above' anyone else etc. etc. I'm pretty firm about this and I honestly don't like when she even notices these things- I think it comes from school- I fear it does, I should say.
I work somewhere..different from my 'sect' shall we say, being PC and all, and the kids there, esp. boys, talk about "the non jews this and that" and what "we're going to do to them"- with their teachers right there, I always speak up and try to explain that we don't talk about them in that way but who knows, maybe that's what their taught in that community...
ANYWAY- that led me to thinking about Jews "vs" non Jews and how I will one day have to explain the Holocaust to my kids...

talk about roundabout questions!

Mrs Bissli

Wed, Oct 27 2010, 9:52 pm

Firstly, kol hakavod for teaching a very important value to your children, that all human beings are made betzelim elokim.

I'm not too alarmed if the kids notice differences between jewish and non-jewish things. A couple of weeks ago, DH was reading a jewish newspaper where there was a report on an anti-israeli rally and something about an anti-semitic attack in Ukraine. 8yr DD noticed and asked me what the story was about. I told her a very brief explanation that there are some people who don't like Israel or Jewish people and left it at that.

I didn't go into Holocaust--too young, and most schools won't teach until Year 6 or older. Some parents use analogy to the story of Purim--the attempt to annihilate the Jews part to explain Holocaust. DD knows about Anne Frank, the fact she had to go into hiding because she was Jewish, but she doesn't yet know what happened after she was discovered. When she's mature enough, I'm sure her school will also emphasize that there were righteous gentiles who saved the Jews.

unexpected

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 2:25 am

When my kids mentioned that Halloween was Purim for the non jews I told them the difference is that they knock on a strangers door and demand candy whereas we go over to a stranger and GIVE them candy. I like to have these conversations with my kids bec. I can model the concept of 'ashreinu mah tov chelkeinu' without giving long boring lectures.
As far as the Holocaust goes, I first discussed it with my 2 oldest boys who were at that time 9 and 8 in reference to Playmobile and why we won't buy it. The kids had some knowledge of the 'big milchama' either from school or friends etc. To my surprise they knew the numbers on my grandparents' arms were connected. Maybe I did give them TMI when I told them how the Germans mad a war with the yidden and locked them up in Jail and killed a bunch of them, but they took it well and understood my point. I feel that between all the stories they learn about the makkos, and nes chanukah etc. and the conversations that they have with their friends abt terrorist bombing and nebech tragedies happening all around them, sometime to people they know; the holocaust is not so difficult for them to absorb. I also think it's very important to stress that we don't understand Hashem's ways but we love Him and He loves up and we believe that everything He does is for the good.
Also, when they learn all these stories in Jewish History and they hear the miraculous stories and learn of all the blessings that came out of them, it kind of prepares them for whatever the future may bring. To know that one day their future generations will be learning about their era. It's comforting to understand that we really are all links on a chain.

Mrs Bissli

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 3:06 pm

Another thing that would be important for me would be to distinguish Nazis and Germans under the Third Reich vs contemporary Germans. I travel fairly occasionally to Germany for work, have German colleagues, clients and friends (all of whom are my contemporaries who were taught what their grandfathers have done at fairly early age rather extensively), and want my children to be able to establish a normal relation like anyone else from other countries.

cookielady

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 3:27 pm

Our children have grown up with many holocaust survivors in our shul. They saw tattooed arms from a young age.

Many of these ppl talk about their survival. I think it helps temper the tradgedy by hearing miracle stories from people in shul. Many of them having really miraculous stories. My kids even saw two men recognize each other in shul. Each one thought they were the only survivor of their town.

We had two bothers who survived and married a pair of sisters. Probably the most humorous, if that's possible, after a few l'chaims, some start to argue, which was worse - concentration camps or Russian labor camps.

It's very sad to seem them passing away as the years go by.

I'm very happy it wasn't something I had to suddenly talk to my kids about. After they would hear stories it Led to many discussions.

Interestingly enough, my youngest has been around much less than the others. She's the one who gets the most freaked out by books about the holocaust, pictures etc.

I once asked my father, who is American born how did people react to survivors as they came to America. He said people were embarest by the " displaced people " as they came over. He said it was like a dirty secret no one talked about.

Tamiri

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 3:41 pm

As Shevi wrote, children in Israel are "introduced" to the subject at a very young age. I don't have experience in gan before age 3.5, but they were taught a little at that age and every year after they learned more and more until I can honestly say it's a part of them. There is no question of "when" they learned, it's in them and they hopefully will never forget. That's the whole point of teaching the subject.

freidasima

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 3:50 pm

My kids knew from the time they could talk. My father z"l was a survivor and we talked about it all the time at home, and they kind of grew up with it. I assume that my grandson will know as soon as he can comprehend, also there is yom hashoa and a siren here in EY as people said so they know from gan age.

mominlkwd

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 4:16 pm

My two older ones know about it, we have discussed it with them. My son is more sensative so we have gone into more detail with him since he asks more questions, my DD is more interested in the basics without the actual in depth discussion.

My Grandparents where in the holocaust A"H and we never discussed it growing up. It was to hard for them and they both lost many many relatives. Because of this I didn't know to much about it until I was older and able to understand it myself - through school projects etc. Me and DH purposely discuss it with our children so that they will understand as best they can and that they should never forget.

My sons lunch lady was in the holocaust, I know this because he came home and told me how she has a tattoo on her arm and she explained to them what it was from. I think frum kids in schools today are made aware of it more than we were growing up, since it was still very fresh for us and many of us had relatives who had gone through it. Now that it is more removed the schools are talking about it since many kids today don't have any first hand experience with it at home.

LisaS

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 4:33 pm

Depending on the ganenet they can start learning about it in gan as early as age 3. Of course at an age appropriate level. My grandparents are survivors so I have told my children about how they lost all their family members.

I have to say that to a child it is much easier to accept than to an adult. To a child it is something that happened a long long time ago at the time that their great grandparents were young. The older you get the more shocking it is that something like the holocaust took place not too long ago.

That being said, I would not for a LONG time tell my children the horrors of the extermination camps, and even then probably just on tisha bav. right now my children just know that there were evil people who killed jews and those jews were not able to hide or flee. the end.

Ruchel

Fri, Oct 29 2010, 6:24 am

Mrs Bissli wrote:

Oh and one more thing I forgot to put down. Some ignorant people assume sephardim and mirachi jews were not affected by Holocaust. How insensitive and ignoramous. They ought to be taught diversity of Holoaust victims, also including non-Jews.

Yes this is so horrible and crazy.
I can understand not knowing, say, about Hamburger Sefardim, but hello, Greece? Bulgaria?

As for Mizrachim, their country was colonized by various European ones so some came to live or were born in the metropolis, and a minority was there for a looooong time before.

I guess people often assume, also, because in Israel Sefardi means davka no link to Europe.