habits | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children

Habits

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amother

Sun, Nov 28 2010, 8:13 pm

I need advice!
how do you brake bad habits from small children without hurting their self esteem?
in my case my daughter speaks really loud often in a high pitch tone. I don't want to keep telling her to quiet down cuz' I'm sounding like a broken record and I don't want to be negative a whole day.
her ears were checked and fine.
how can I train her to use a softer gentle tone of voice
(anon cuz' I gave personal info. about my dd)

octopus

Sun, Nov 28 2010, 8:26 pm

well, how old is she?
Very little children do not know how to modulate their voices. So you would be fighting a losing battle.

Ema of 5

Sun, Nov 28 2010, 8:28 pm

is she old enough to understand the difference between indoor and outdoor voice? my son just started getting the concept a few months ago- until then, he was loud as can be, all the time.
dont forget to praise her when she IS speaking appropriately, that will also go a long way in helping her to want to continue speaking that way.
you can also remind her using positive words...remember to use your indoor voice sweetie" vs. negative words...."we dont talk so loudly when were inside" I find with my son that the words I use make a huge difference in the outcome.

hatzlacha raba!

amother

Sun, Nov 28 2010, 9:16 pm

she is 5

amother

Sun, Nov 28 2010, 11:07 pm

ok akivachaya. I will try praise. thanks. any other suggestions as well?

mummy-bh

Mon, Nov 29 2010, 12:51 am

I agree with akiva chaya. Praise her for talking nicely, and remind her to use her indoor voice.
if you see that it is really difficult for her, you could consider using a sticker/prize chart as an incentive.

sneakermom

Mon, Nov 29 2010, 1:27 am

Maybe you can teach her a bit about sounds in general.

Take a book out of the library about it. Discuss how some sounds are abrasive to the ears and can make ears tingle, other sounds are gentle and feel like soft cotton on the ears, some sounds are beautiful and are a pleasure for the ear.

Show her how different sounds make the ear feel different when it's listening.

Then take out a tape recorder and have her try out different sounds, different volumes of speech and pitches. Listen to the recording and ask her how each one feels to her ears....this will give her an awareness to how she sounds to others.

Show her how when you talk loud how it feels for her ears, and when you whisper real soft what happens.

And then whenever she uses a softer voice tell her how your ears feel that pleasure.

amother

Mon, Nov 29 2010, 10:30 pm

wow sneaker! I love the idea of letting her record herself to see how she sounds

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