Help come up with good come backs for dd to use on this girl

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

Previous 1 2

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

faigie

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 12:30 pm

let the bully finish her rant........when shes all blown out, just ask her.......why are you screaming?

Besiyata Dishmaya

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 2:09 pm

amother wrote:

My daughter has been complaining about this girl several years already who always YELLS when she doesn't like something a person says or if someone expresses an opinion she disagrees with.

She particularly dislikes my dd and yells at her the most even when there is a whole group of girls saying the same thing.

Quote:

DD has overheard her a number of times yelling at her mother and was shocked!!
she said her mother didn't even tell her off she just took it as if she was the kid and the girl was the mother.
She also orders her mother around and her mother allows it.

This girl has nothing against your daughter. It's just that your DD seems to be the soft one she can let her moodiness out on, just like her compassionate mother who is surely scared of this daughter of hers.

This bully sounds like a rotten spoiled brat who desperately needs help and therapy. If she's rude to her parents, no doubt she's rude to the teachers too. What you need to do is discuss her anger issues and rude attitude with the principal (which should've been done all these years). She needs to get some counseling and work on her anger, temper and impulsiveness, otherwise she’ll have a miserable future ch”v.

imasinger

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 2:32 pm

While it's certainly a good idea to bring up the topic with the morahs/principal, I also think it's important to teach our daughters that they do not have to subject themselves to abuse.

Nor is it OK to tease or torment an abuser -- it's mean, and it could escalate the situation.

I like the solutions her that do neither. Direct gaze is supposed to be helpful to deflate a bullying attitude. Calmly calling attention to the behavior is also helpful. Maybe something like, "I'd like to hear your opinions about things, but it's hard to listen to when you are yelling at me." And walk away.

It might not prevent the screamer from doing it again, but it might preserve your DD's dignity, and give her strength in the future. Sad to say, I'll be this is not the last time in her life she will have to deal with someone's inappropriate anger.

amother

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 4:48 pm

imasinger wrote:

Op here
I like that one
It's compassionate while strong at the same time

skazm

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 7:25 pm

Man, you guys should really hear my rebbe's shiur on self-esteem Very Happy

(Rabbi Chalkowski shlita of Neve Yerushalayim)
here, I uploaded it just for you:

http://rapidshare.com/files/44.....0.mp3

What do you have low self esteem about? Someone told you to? You're a Jewish frum lady living the life Hashem wants! What makes you worse than anyone else? Everyone has their mylos and chesronos. Get over it Very Happy

Seriously though, you're made in the image of Hashem. So is your daughter. You are zoiche to live closer to Hashem than most people in this world. When you lessen yourself, you lessen chalila l'havdil Him....

BTW talking to a rebbitzen is different than talking to a shrink.... people have been going to rebbeim and rebbitzens for ages who have done much better than shrinks because they use Torah to solve problems - hehe tell your daughter if Hashem took council with the malachim ... who is she not to ? Smile

I'm not saying that meanly - I hope you get my point though.

skazm

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 7:27 pm

btw self esteem never comes from talking about it, it comes from actions - doing things one is proud of.. from accomplishments...

amother

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 10:18 pm

skazm, my daughter is 14 and the girls at that age are all into everything is awkward.
talking to anyone is awkward,
awkward awkward awkward!!! I so am getting sick of that word LOL

anyway you are right, I should get her involved in some sort of chessed

amother

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:33 pm

skazm- I can't upload the file, anyway you could send it again or explain how I can get it?

yaeli83

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 12:05 am

skazm- I downloaded the shiur and it is on shavuos- is this the correct shiur?

skazm

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 11:49 am

Yaeli, yep!

everyone should just be able to just click on the link above and follow directions in order to get it (you're not uploading, you're downloading).

skazm

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 11:50 am

chesed is really important, especially when she's obviously needed and an important part of it

Page 2 of 2

Previous 1 2