Loaned dress out-came back ripped!

amother

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 2:05 pm

I loaned a bunch of dresses out to be used in a play. I was very happy to do so. One was even brand new, with the tags still on. (I had purchased a bunch of different sizes for my girls, this one didn't fit any of them yet.) After washing them and going to hang them up, I noticed that part of it was ripped, and a bad repair job, looks like by hand, had been done. Pieces of material are ripped and hanging out. This was actually the brand new one, which was in perfect condition before the play, and had been hanging in a bag in the closet for a year!

DH said not to worry, we'll take it to a tailor and have it professionally fixed. (It will fit my next dd in about a year or so).

My guess is that it was ripped while the girl borrowing it was taking it on and off. It's just a guess, though.

Should they have said something to me? That it had been ripped, and they tried to fix it. I don't even need for them to pay for it, it won't cost much for the repair. However, I do think a "sorry" would have been nice, rather than my finding it on my own! I wouldn't have cared so much if they had said something!

Also, should I let them borrow stuff again? I have a lot of girls, with tons of matching clothes, which I would be happy to loan out, but I am not sure if should!

yaakovsmom

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 2:12 pm

I think if you are going to lend something out to be worn in a play, you have to go in knowing you probably won't get it back in quite the same condition. If that bothers you, then no, don't lend it next time. If you like something enough that you would bother to have it professionally tailored, it's likely not something you should lend out. That's just one opinion, I'm sure you'll hear from plenty of people way more generous than I am!

HindaRochel

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 3:06 pm

amother wrote:

It is possible that the dress appeared to you to be in perfect condition before lending it, but that it had a tear or rip that only was evident when the person put it on.

If you had lent it out to someone for personal wear then I might say "raise the issue with the person you lent it to..." (if the dress were really that important to you). However, this was a dress lent for a play...it probably passed through many hands. It may have been ripped anywhere along the line and the person who ripped it may not have noticed that s/he did so (or as I said it could have been ripped prior to this and you just didn't realize it.)

I think as yaakovsmom said, it is a good policy NOT to lend things out with the expectation that they will be returned at all, let alone in the same condition that they were given. While they should be returned in basically good condition, lending things out is always a risk. If you do it without expectations then you are bound to be less hurt.

obagys

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 4:51 pm

To me the OP doesn't sound upset about the rip as much as the fact that she was not informed of the rip. It would have been nice had the borrower disclosed the fact that the item did rip and was repaired instead of returning it without saying a word. The item did get ruined - even if it was an accident - and I don't think it's out of line for the OP to have wanted an apology for it.

When I lend something out, I expect it to be returned in the same condition. I realize there is a possibility of the item getting ruined, and that's a risk I am aware of and consider before lending something. If I know I'll be upset if an item is returned in poor condition, I won't lend it, and if I know I won't be upset, I will lend it - but the expectation of a same-condition return is still expected either way. Or is that me being unreasonable? (Maybe)

Anyway, I'm sorry that happened, but it sounds like you will be able to have it repaired by the tailor and will have use out of it, so no real harm done. I personally would still lend things to this person in the future, but would ask her to kindly let you know if anything needs repair when it is returned.

amother

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 5:59 pm

obagys wrote:

OP here: Exactly! I knew that by lending it out, I ran the risk of something happening...a rip, a spilll, a marker or paint spilled on it. That's not what upsets. Obviously, the kid wearing it didn't repair it herself. And the dresses never went home with anyone....I asked for them to be brought home each night. I didn't want them to disappear. So, obviously one of the adults in charge fixed it or got someone else to fix it. I just would have liked if they had told me, rather than my discovering it. I don't even want them to pay for it!

amother

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 6:08 pm

paprika wrote:

Things lent for plays are bound to get torn. Kids are kids. They won't necessarily come and appologize. They still have many years ahead of them to learn these type of values.

OP here: You misunderstood...I definitely don't expect the kid to apologize! Kids rip things all the time. Someone in charge of the play should have told me, rather than my discovering it.

Someone suggested that it was there before...It was a pretty obvious tear! And not fixed well. I bought the dress a while ago, it didn't fit anyone yet and has been hanging up ever since. The tags were even still on right before the play. I would have noticed the rip upon purchase..I check things out carefully. also didn't notice it when I loaned it out.

mamommommy

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 6:38 pm

I think that it's fine to call whoever was in charge of the play and tell them that a dress came back torn and clumsily repaired, and while of course you know that when you lend things out for a play it might come back a little damaged, they should nevertheless have the courtesy to tell you when that happens, and not let you discover it on your own. Tell them that you would like to continue to lend things to them in the future and that you hope should this occur again, that it will be handled more appropriately.

Depending on the response that you get (defensive vs. apologetic), you can decide if you really do want to lend things out again.

ChutzPAh

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 8:58 pm

mamommommy wrote:

I second this.