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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:13 am
There I said it!
I’m sorry if it sounds spoiled, or over the top to you!
But that’s what I was used to and now it’s not (hopefully soon again iyh!!!)
The amount of hours I spend thinking about money, purchases, expenses, debt!!,
And I’m no fancy lady with no fancy house.
Just a simple chassidish yid who wants to get by! And give tzedakah!
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amother
Chocolate
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:17 am
I definitely sympathize
But let’s not refer to this type of income as “getting by”
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amother
Blueberry
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:18 am
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40k a month?! What did you do?
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amother
Oldlace
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:19 am
 That's my yearly income!
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amother
RosePink
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:20 am
You are being blunt so I will too 😆 you are a fancy lady.
That being said, I'm sorry your salary decreased. That is upsetting. What happened?
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amother
Offwhite
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:26 am
I get you OP.
My business earned around 40k a month and now its down to 25-30k. I do have a bit of an overhead so the entire thing does not go into my pocket, but my monthly personal expenses are between 15-18k and its hard because im not used to needing to be so careful.
Its hard to go from extremely comfortable to a little uncomfortable (most people wont understand it.)
I do want to mention that I was in major debt and broke at a certain point, so for those of you really struggling, I totally understand you too, and hope things get better for you very soon.
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amother
Lime
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:28 am
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amother
Pistachio
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:37 am
| amother Offwhite wrote: | I get you OP.
My business earned around 40k a month and now its down to 25-30k. I do have a bit of an overhead so the entire thing does not go into my pocket, but my monthly personal expenses are between 15-18k and its hard because im not used to needing to be so careful.
Its hard to go from extremely comfortable to a little uncomfortable (most people wont understand it.)
I do want to mention that I was in major debt and broke at a certain point, so for those of you really struggling, I totally understand you too, and hope things get better for you very soon. |
That’s one reason among many why it’s good to always try to live beneath one’s means
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amother
Mauve
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:39 am
Is this a joke?
OP: if you’re not joking, maybe it’s with mentioning that no everything requires a post. So, want it, wish for it, daven for it, but maybe don’t come here among the regular folk and post about it
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amother
Coffee
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:45 am
It must be very challenging to lose a very high income and suddenly have to cut back. That being said, this is not the income of a simple yid getting by. It's comes off as a little tone deaf to those who could never even dresm of such a high income. As others have said, that is some people's annual salary!
I wish you and all others in need an abundance of parnassa. IYH you should return quickly to your previous income, or a higher one.
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LeMortedeLilac
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:48 am
| amother Mauve wrote: | Is this a joke?
OP: if you’re not joking, maybe it’s with mentioning that no everything requires a post. So, want it, wish for it, daven for it, but maybe don’t come here among the regular folk and post about it |
If serious, and OP really lost such a substantial income, she's probably struggling tremendously right now. She may be behind in everything; tuition, mortgage, paying for childcare... Going from x dollars a month to 0 is traumatic and can be so life changing. OP is absolutely entitled to ask for chizuk and supporting comments from the rest of us. Knowing how much she made before gives context to how drastic a life change she's probably going through. You don't have to comment or respond to her post. Keep scrolling if it triggers you. But OP has every right to feel upset and want to discuss how she feels. It's no different if someone earned less and was laid off or lost a baby.(cv).
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amother
Offwhite
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:50 am
| amother Pistachio wrote: | | That’s one reason among many why it’s good to always try to live beneath one’s means |
You're right, but I dont overspend at all. I just didnt need to scrimp and save till now.
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amother
Yellow
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:04 pm
This post is the perfect example of the Halacha that we give tzedakah according to what the person is accustomed to.
Op, I hope your mazel changes and you’re on the giving end again. It’s tough when anyone has a cut in a paycheck, no matter the size.
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amother
RosePink
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:06 pm
| LeMortedeLilac wrote: | | If serious, and OP really lost such a substantial income, she's probably struggling tremendously right now. She may be behind in everything; tuition, mortgage, paying for childcare... Going from x dollars a month to 0 is traumatic and can be so life changing. OP is absolutely entitled to ask for chizuk and supporting comments from the rest of us. Knowing how much she made before gives context to how drastic a life change she's probably going through. You don't have to comment or respond to her post. Keep scrolling if it triggers you. But OP has every right to feel upset and want to discuss how she feels. It's no different if someone earned less and was laid off or lost a baby.(cv). |
This is your assumption. She never said she's at zero now. Just not 40k. That's a spectrum of about...forty thousand.
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amother
Pistachio
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:09 pm
| amother Offwhite wrote: | | You're right, but I dont overspend at all. I just didnt need to scrimp and save till now. |
Hugs. That’s hard! Hoping things turn in a positive direction for you.
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ShishKabob
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:15 pm
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Are you a chassidish yid? or yiddeneh?
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amother
Chocolate
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:26 pm
| amother Mauve wrote: | Is this a joke?
OP: if you’re not joking, maybe it’s with mentioning that no everything requires a post. So, want it, wish for it, daven for it, but maybe don’t come here among the regular folk and post about it |
OP is entitled to post same as anyone else, and it’s very hard to have to live below what you’re used to and make changes, and stress about money no matter what the numbers are. I really do feel bad for OP, it’s not easy no matter what income bracket she’s in, and she deserves our sympathy and validation.
The only thing that bothered me was referring to her lifestyle as getting by, when no matter how you live off of 40k, it is not just getting by. Fancy or not, it is a very comfortable lifestyle. That part was a little tone deaf, but it doesn’t mean OP shouldn’t be looking for support here and shouldn’t receive it
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amother
Crimson
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:26 pm
| amother Chocolate wrote: | I definitely sympathize
But let’s not refer to this type of income as “getting by” |
Everyone agreeing with this is incorrect. When a frum family is living with no tuition breaks, no reduced health insurance, and buys a house dependent on a certain income, $40k a year can definitely not be enough to leave them “swimming in money”. Able to cover expenses- sure. But not ultra rich by any means.
Let’s break down hypothetical costs for a typical frum family with 6 school age kids.
Monthly income:
$40k
Monthly expenses:
$11,600 taxes (29%)
$2,800- maiser (10% of net income)
$5,500- mortgage/property tax (this is actually not a super high mortgage for anyone who bought a house post Covid)
$6,000- tuition ($12k/kid/year)
$2,500- medical/dental
$2,500- groceries (not super high for a fam of 8)
$1,000- camp/summer ($2k/kid/summer)
$1,000- utilities/bills
$500- gas/car insurance
$600- cleaning help (once a week)
$500- home/life insurance
$500- clothing ($750/person/year)
Total: $35,000
I don’t believe any of the expenses I detailed above are outrageously high. However, look how easy it is to get to $35k a month spending. And this is before any thing extra, like pizza, chol hamoed outings, bikes for kids, matzah for pesach, simchas, therapy, tutors, or ANY savings. It would not be so easy for someone in the position above to find areas to significantly cut back especially if they’re not used to watching their spending so closely.
So yes, it’s crazy, but $40k/month isn’t Uber wealthy at all anymore for a frum family of 8.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:35 pm
| amother RosePink wrote: | | This is your assumption. She never said she's at zero now. Just not 40k. That's a spectrum of about...forty thousand. |
Actually it was down to 0 for a while but has slowly gone up..
Now it’s about 10k to 15k on a good month.
And it just doesn’t work!
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hodeez
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:36 pm
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Hashem should give you back double!
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