Brother's wedding WWYD??

Apple pie

Wed, Mar 02 2011, 7:07 am

amother wrote:

OP here=

Wow! I haven't been online in a few days.... so many responses.
Here is the update. I spoke to bro's MIL . She won't have the baby there, she said she is spending alot of money and babies there will turn the wedding into a birthday party Sad

She won't allow a babysitter at the location either (grrrr). She did suggest that I rent a room from a nearby hotel so that the babysitter and baby will be nearby. I think I will do what the poster with a similar situation suggested. DH will be at pictures and then will leave with the baby. I will leave after chuppah to feed him and maybe come back or not. Its upsetting and rediculous.

To the poster who asked. My brother was raised frum and is no longer. He is marrying a girl that was raised secular , so yes its possible there is a big social clash. I will mention that his MIL didn't want a kosher wedding (Not tasty, glamerous enough) and will only allow a small mechitza. There is a female entertainer who will be singing. She is very very insisant on getting her way all the time.

Again what's the reason? It will not turn the wedding into a bday party!!
What's the difference between a babysitter in a nearby hotel, and a babysitter on premises (besides the former being much more inconvenient for you Exploding anger

)? I seriously cannot get it!

amother

Wed, Mar 02 2011, 8:08 pm

Dh and I have decided to go without the baby and attend the chuppah. There seems no way around it. My mom has been arguing with my bros MIL and its turning pretty heated. My mom tried, my bro tried - his MIL will not have it. My bro is still upset with me. He thinks the baby could just have formula. I'm not happy but this seems like the best plan under the circumstances. Thank you for everyone suggestions and help

shalhevet

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 3:55 am

I think you made a very good choice. You are compromising, even if others won't see it this way, but still standing up for what you believe to be right. If your brother has children he will probably eventually understand.

Actually he is the one I feel most sorry for in this, starting off with a MIL like that. Or maybe I should feel most sorry for her - she probably has a miserable life full of anger whenever anything doesn't go exactly her way.

Raizle

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 6:04 pm

I also feel sorry for your brother and I'm wondering where is the bride in all this.
It's HER wedding how does she feel about it. And how much does she care about her future husband's feelings and about the fact that her mother is preventing his own sibling from being at the full simcha?

life'sgreat

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 9:38 pm

amother wrote:

I'm sorry you were forced to make such a choice. Sad

Perhaps your leaving will teach the ~~money machine~~ mother in law a lesson.

shoshina

Tue, Mar 08 2011, 9:43 am

I still would love to hear what your sister-in-law-to-be has to say about this!! Surely she would rather have her new sister there, AND her new nephew, than let her mother damage her relationship with her in-laws?
At our wedding, we only invited those babies who we knew the parents well enough to know that they would take them outside if they were a disruption, but SURELY given that this baby will be HER NEPHEW there are any number of people who could take him outside if he's fussy????