Wedding and interesting family scenario--Need advice please

shoshina

Wed, Mar 16 2011, 11:20 am

As close family, it would still be fine to ask what her colors are, because likely you will still be asked to be in pictures, and it would be a shame to clash. She may be hesitating to ask you to wear something specific because she knows you have more restrictions on clothing than she does. Bring it up casually when you ask her about wedding planning, which is a very sister-in-law thing to discuss!

rydys

Wed, Mar 16 2011, 2:41 pm

Don't be shy! When I got married and my non-frum relatives didn't know what to wear, I was happy that they called to ask. Your fSIL is probably aware that you have not been to this type of wedding before and if not, use that as an opening line.

try this:

"Hi. I've never been to a wedding in your circles before, and I want to make sure to fit in and wear something appropriate. What type of dress would be appropriate to wear, and is there a specific color scheme or a sprecific group of colors that would be appropriate?"

ally

Wed, Mar 16 2011, 3:28 pm

rydys wrote:

I like that. Straight up is usually best.
If you cant find a dress that is tznius to start with, I would vote for a shrug on top rather than something underneath. At the end of the day you will probably be the most dressed;) but a shrug would fit in more than a t shirt underneath.
If you can pull it off, you could try a vintage dress. If you're lucky you can find one with long sleeves and a high neck. And vintage is very in.

miami85

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 8:18 pm

Follow-up: DH just got the info about getting fitted for a tux--so yea, it's a formal wedding. I was told the color, "do what you want with it" and that the bridesmaid's dresses are long. So I am now looking into gemachs. Thanks for all your responses!

miami85

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 8:58 pm

In response to the question about the conversion, per my husband's knowledge if he had been converted as a baby--he wasn't a "bar daas" so it wouldn't have counted, and he never went to mikvah either, family is conservative. I think we all sighed a relief when we found out his fiancee wasnt Jewish either--messy situation avoided all around, but should be an interestinbg wedding.