Where do babies come from?

life'sgreat

Wed, May 11 2011, 10:10 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

A homebirther tells her kids she had the baby in the hospital?!?!?!?!?!?!

LG said chaddidish rebbes say you should not LIE to a child. She did not say they say to be explicit about it. You can give vague answers that are still true.

(And I have heard from chassidish chinuch advisers about this inyan not to lie. But they're not rebbes.)

Look, I cant quote these ppl as I didnt ask them. Maybe some homebirthers are so open with their kids they tell the the truth. But the homebirthers who do it for uber frumkeit reasons, certainly dont tell their kids how their baby was born... they just tell them mommy had a baby... I dont know. I can try to find out.

Are there women in the US that do homebirths for the above reason?

Chayalle

Thu, May 12 2011, 10:24 am

Interesting.

When my second DD was born (and again for my 3rd), I used a midwife (Pattie Brown). It was a wonderful experience, both for myself and for my DH. We felt very supported and the birth was beautiful and calm.

When DH told a very prominent Rav in Lakewood about our positive experience, the Rav said that he wishes more women would consider this option of using a midwife (of course when medically appropriate). He mentioned two factors - tznius, and also that he hears how happy women are after midwife-assisted births, and it contributes to their post-partum emotional health.

Tablepoetry

Thu, May 12 2011, 3:19 pm

Chayalle wrote:

That's how it is in Israel. Most of the births here are assisted by midwives rather than doctors (at the hospital).

Tablepoetry

Thu, May 12 2011, 4:23 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

I had two of my kids at home.
And I always just told the truth, simplified.

I think that's the best approach. I am really against lying to kids except in certain extreme situations. That doesn't mean you have to expose them to everything. But I really really try to avoid lying. I'm not talking about telling 4 year olds about birth here, which personally I think is a good thing. I'm talking about difficult questions about war and violence and death, terrorists, the news, intruders - you name it. I try and calm my kids without lying.

For once you start lying to your kids, why should they believe you at all? If you tell a kid that mommy is just getting fat, and then one day picked out a present at the hospital.....why should s/he believe you about other important things? They will find out the truth sooner or later, and then suspect that you're pulling wool over their eyes in other areas.

I think it's better to be slightly vague than to outright lie. I find it shocking that some people here find it perfectly reasonable to lie to their kids as a way of life.

anonymom

Sun, May 15 2011, 9:33 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

Chayalle wrote:

Chanie wrote:

The conversation is bringing back a memory. I remember in 9th grade bio, my teacher was talking about how when the sperm from the male and egg from the female come together and fertilize, it creates a baby (eventually). One girl in my class raised her hand and said "I dont get it, but how do they get to each other?" My entire class went quiet in disbelief and my dear teacher stammered a little and said she will find out when its the right time.

My sister told me that in 7th grade, the class was learning in Navi about Dovid and Bassheva, and a girl raised her hand and asked for the translation for a very explicit Pasuk, and what it means....while the whole class snickered, the teacher told the girl that that is a question she needs to ask her mother.

My DD is in 7th grade and she has asked me questions (beyond how the baby gets out). I did my best to explain it to her on her level. She's a normal 12 1/2 year old, and I would find it hard to believe that other girls her age are not wondering the same, no matter what background they come from.

In 6th grade, my teacher was translating really fast a bunch of pesukim as, "You're not allowed to marry your sister. You're not allowed to marry your mother." A girl asked matter of factly, "Doesn't it mean sleep with?" My teacher turned red but nodded. You had to have been looking at her to see her nod.

My almost 8 year old trapped me this past Shabbos. He said, "You have to be killed rather than lie." I said no, there are 3 aveiros for which you have to be killed and lying isn't one of them. So he very "innocently" (meaning he knew there are 2 kinds of lying, but he does not know exactly what the second one is-I think) said, "But gilui arayos means lying." So I said right, it means sleeping in the same room. It's a mitzvah for a man and woman who are married to sleep in the same room but an aveirah if they're not married.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Sun, May 15 2011, 11:14 pm

anonymom wrote:

Isramom8 wrote:

Chayalle wrote:

Chanie wrote:

my dear- if he knows there are 2 types of 'lying', he probably knows its not just about sleeping arrangements!!!!