what do u call ur mil?

amother

Sat, Jul 09 2011, 11:17 pm

amother wrote:

machashayfa. The woman is the embodiment of the evil eye.

amother

Sat, Jul 09 2011, 11:22 pm

I call her, "Hi". and still do after many many years. If speaking directly to her I would ask her very formally if "the shvigger" would like a drink, or something like that but its very rare, and unlikely to happen.

amother

Sat, Jul 09 2011, 11:51 pm

I don't call my shvigger by any name. I can't formally address her... She calls herself "the shvigger" and each time she says I think to myself either "you bet" or "stop being one."
I think the word shvigger has such a bad connotation!!

amother

Sat, Jul 09 2011, 11:55 pm

My shvigger told me (when I got engaged) that it's ok to call her shvigger...she already had one son in law doing that. and perfectly okay not to call her "ma" or similar b/c hey, I have one.
So that's what I do. Shvigger and shver and we don't see it as a pejorative.

pobody's nerfect

Sun, Jul 10 2011, 12:15 am

I call mine mom and dad. my DH calls my parents abba and ema.
what I find much more strange is having to refer to my MIL or FIL when speaking to my parents. saying "mom" is weird to me, but saying "DH's mom" is also. and saying "my MIL" is just super strange. so... I'm stuck on that one.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Jul 10 2011, 12:31 am

I call them by their first names. They never told me otherwise and before I married their son, I called them by their first names, so that stuck. I would much rather call them what my husband calls them (different from what I call my parents) but that never was mentioned, so its their first names.
Interestingly enough, my parents wanted to be mommy and abba, like I call them, but my husband was not comfortable so its their names too.

yummy2

Sun, Jul 10 2011, 12:57 am

mil = shviger
fil= shver

isn't it interesting for all of us ladies that call our il shver and shviger, dh"s grandparents become zidy and bobby? or are we best off starting a new thread of what do you call dh's grandparents Wink

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Jul 10 2011, 3:40 am

yummy2 wrote:

that would be an interesting question. My husband has no living grandparents and I have one left and my husband calls her exactly what we all call her.

chavs

Sun, Jul 10 2011, 8:24 am

I call my mill mum and am perfectly happy to do so.
The first time I was alone with her after we got married (a day or 2 after the chasuna) she said that she was never comfortable or sure (or something like that) about what to call her mil and she wanted me to be comfortable and call her whatever I wanted whether it's be her name or mum and when I said ok mum she smiled and looked very happy and I think a bit relieved.

chocolate chips

Sun, Jul 10 2011, 11:05 am

I dont call her anything...our conversations start off "hi" dh calls my parents mummy and tatty though but non of my sils and bils call his parents that so I dont either.

problem starts when I call and my fil answers and I have to ask for my mil!! usually he kinda asks do you want to speak to mammy? so I say yeh.
dh doesnt have grandparents I do so he calls mine bubby zeidy like I do...

five2ten

Sun, Jul 10 2011, 12:28 pm

One sister-in-law advised me, when I was engaged, to just jump right in with "mom" or "mommy"

Otherwise, it would get uncomfortable later on.

So I did. It was wierd in the beginning, but soon it wasn't. All my SIL's call her mommy.

It was not hard to call my father in law 'Abba' because my own father is 'Daddy'

The mommy thing was harder.

Sun, Jul 10 2011, 1:09 pm

When I got engaged I asked her what she wanted to be called, and she replied "Mom." A little weird for me, as I have a "Mom" already, but she feels it is disrespectful to use an older person's first name. Now that there are grandchildren, we often use our family's word for "Grandma" instead.

On the flipside, my husband was instructed by his inlaws to call them by their first names - but he finds it awkward as he was raised never to call older people by their first names (see above)! As was I, actually, but that doesn't seem to apply within close family relationships.