should I stop stimulating my smart kid?

pobody's nerfect

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 10:12 pm

thank you for all the responses.

BH, he is on or above level with all other skills- physical, emotional, social, fine-motor. we belong to an excellent children's museum and go about once a week. we also go to the library play area and an indoor jungle-gym place often.
the school we'll be sending to is small, with fewer than 14 kids per grade. they do reading (hebrew and english) individually, so he'll be ok if he's above the general level.

so I guess for now, I'll be happy with my bracha and continue to let him learn as much as he wants!

thank you again for all the encouragement.

marina

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 10:26 pm

Quote:

Depends on the school you are going to send him to, if they are good at stretching the smart kids then its ok.

If you are sending him to a school that is not good at stretching kids, please do everyone a favor and send him to a different school.

That is the job of a school. And of a parent. To stretch each and every child, the brilliant ones and the average ones and the below average ones too. If a school can't do that, it should close up shop.

Every time this topic comes up I am always appalled at the people who think they should hold their child back and even surprised at the people who don't think we parents should push our kids. We push everything else on our kids- manners, religion, values, good eating habits, exercise, and that's all great, but when it comes to academics, WOAH BABY STOP THE CART, can't push that.

So, push your kids OP, push the academics just like you would push anything else that is important to you. If you're the kind of parent who says, "eh, I'm not really concerned about my child's middos, he's not really ready to be polite and he'll grow at his own pace," then apply that approach to reading too. If you're the kind of parent who says, "No, Shmully, it's not nice to grab the last cookie because our guests might want one," then consider using the same approach to reading and math as well.

mommy#1

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 11:49 pm

I didn't read all the replies, so I hope I'm not just repeating what others have been saying. As for whether you should stop stimulating him, I really can't tell you. But what I did want to tell you is my personal experience, so that you won't be so nervous.
When I was 4 years old, I taught myself how to read. Although I totally don't remember it, my friend tells me that by free-play time I used to read Helen Keller to a few girls, before a lot of them knew all the letters of the abc.
I'm not sure at what age, but definitely before 5, my older siblings would ask me what's 1+1, then 2+2, 4+4, 8+8 and so on, and I would go up until quite a few thousand. ( that was probably from memorizing, but hey, I come from a big family, and no one else did that!)

So, I guess I was a gifted kid. But let me tell you, at those young years, I was real popular and had many many friends. I even remember a few girls fighting over which one was my best friend! So gifted doesn't necessarily mean nerdy.
(now, though, I wouldn't call myself gifted. I'll admit it, I'm pretty smart, but not overly so)

Kayza

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 12:42 am

pobody's nerfect wrote:

now, should I put away the abc and aleph bais toys (foam letters and magnets) and books? or is that overkill? if he doesn't know a letter he'll sometimes bring it to me to find out what it is...

yes, it is!

You have a bright child on your hands. Don't kill his intelligence so you can please his teachers. Yes, I agree that teaching him specifically the things they will be covering is school is probably not a good idea, but holding him back?! Also, realize this - even if you don't actively TEACH him, if you encourage his development in a healthy manner, he is going to be tough for the teachers to deal with. That's just too bad. Do teach him to behave and always act with derech eretz. But start doing some research on what schools can do for bright kids, because even if they don't know the specific subject material, they can be a handful. If they are not properly handled, you can really do harm.

Mommy3.5

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 1:04 am

pobody's nerfect wrote:

sigh.
I'm distraught.

yitzy is ka'h really smart, and I know it's a bracha, but I just don't know what to do with it.
at 23 months, he knows about 2/3 of the alphabet by sight and can recall numerous words that start with each letter. he's constantly pointing out the letters that he knows on store signs, toys, you name it. just today I asked him what letter is for "lollipop" and he was able to figure it out. then he continued the thought and told me me "L, logging truck. L, lawnmower (and L Yael but that's a bit confusing Smile

)." he knows a few of the aleph bais, and a few numbers. and I never taught him any of this in an official lesson- just read books, played with foam letter toys, and involved him in discussions all the time. each time I show him a new letter, he remembers it forever.

my question for now is, should I stop stimulating him in terms of alphabet/abcs/numbers? home schooling will NOT be an option for us. our local school has really great teachers and small class sizes, so I'm sure he'll be stimulated enough when he gets there. but I don't want him to be so far ahead that it will be awkward or overly boring. I feel like it's wrong to hold him back from his potential, but it also may be wrong to aid him in something that may ostracize him from his peers.

in other areas, he makes mental connections, understands emotions and abstract concepts, and has very good fine motor skills. but none of that really worries me. it's just the pre-reading skills that I'm concerned about.

I'm sure there have been discussions on the boards similar to this, but I didn't find any. so.. what are your opinions?

The worst thing to do to a smart child is to stop stimulating them. You will set him up for failure by doing that. I also have incredibly bright children, And really did nothing to teach them what they knew, but I always answered them when they had questions, and I never discouraged learning. If you take the Joy out of it at age 2, you wont be able to spark it up again at 6. Just continue to do things the way you are doing it.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 8:10 pm

marina wrote:

Quote:

Depends on the school you are going to send him to, if they are good at stretching the smart kids then its ok.

octopus

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 8:22 pm

gryp wrote:

Absolutely not.
But many times kids who are very good at one skill are deficient in another so I'd be taking a good look at him and making sure I wasn't missing anything that he needed to be working on.

I disagree with your statement of "many times." Maybe it should read "some of the time." But given your ad on the bottom of your posts, perhaps you come in contact with bright children that have issues versus bright children that have zero issues.

shnitzel

Wed, Aug 17 2011, 1:23 am

Does a kid recognizing letters at two really make them likely to be extra smart/gifted? My two year old sounds similar and is also exceptionally articulate and physically advanced but I doubt that she will remain advanced by the time she hits grade school. Don't kids just learn in different spurts? I was in the lower reading class in first grade but reading adult books by third grade and I know people who learned to read at two or three and have not picked up a book since. I think kids need to be encouraged but not all kids learn in a linear manner. At two I just take it one day at a time. We read a lot and if she does have issues in school then I plan deal wit
h it then. I just hope she doesn't inherit my ADD tendencies which seem to render most of my smarts useless.