Dealing with homeschooling criticism from rabbis/leaders

chavs

Wed, Sep 21 2011, 9:12 am

Honestly I'd say, I am not interested in discussing it. I didnt ask a shayla and am very uncomfortable with the way you are questioning me. I have a Rov who is in favour of it and thats enough for me.

Sorry about the way you were spoken to though. I get questioned just about everyday by strangers and no so strangers, its pretty annoying. If people are actually interested in hearing about it I am happy to talk about it but I have realised that some people might ask questions but are not interestedin the answers and just want to hear their own voices, to them I dont get into a discussion about it.
It sucks but when you choose to not follow mainstream your life is suddenly up for discussion with everyone whether or not we are talking, babywearing, breastfeeding, birthing choices, food and of course homeschooling.

Chayalle

Wed, Sep 21 2011, 11:03 am

Seraph wrote:

So, who thinks the homeschooling section should be made private, so that anti homeschooling people can't use what people write here to push their anti homeschooling agenda on another part of the board?

If you make it private, it will also be closed to those who are not necessarily anti-homeschooling but are not pro it for themselves.

I have too many jobs in my life to add homeschooling on top, thank you very much. I prefer to pay the (gasp) astronomical tuition costs because it works for my family and my kids (oldest DD disagrees....) But I do find some of the homeschooling posts interesting, and would prefer not to be shut out.

I think some posters here (not necessarily homeschoolers) have given you great advice on how to handle people who give you unsolicited doses of same (advice). Hope your DH can implement some of the suggested tactics.

thankyou

Wed, Sep 21 2011, 11:25 am

When I get comments from people I don't respect (often enough) I just stay frozen and not comment much. I let them talk and talk and talk - trust me even the most talkative person feels awkward talking to themselves at some point. If I have to I'd do what someone suggeted above- keep saying: Well we have decided, we are home shcooling and I would add " but thank you so much". I love being polite at situations like this.
Any answer at all only makes things worse. I keep my answers to people I respect.

As to making this a private section- I don't "belong" here so Idon't really get a say but I think that somone could have started taht thread by "copypaste-ing" from any other thread- no?

amother

Thu, Oct 20 2011, 1:12 pm

I would just say, "We discussed it with our Rav."

I also have BIG problems with confrontation, I get really overwhelmed when people are saying to me, "No, you have to do this, X, Y, Z, or you'll never succeed." It drives me REALLY crazy, and really hurts me because I feel like I can't defend myself, even though I'm typically someone who is relatively well-possessed and knows her own mind.

DH and I had a situation where we similarly had to keep trying to excuse our 'weird' behavior, when we were dating, because people wanted to know when we were getting married. It was awkward to have to explain 'Actually, he may be a mamzer but we're going and talking to a bunch of rebbeim about it to make sure that he isn't.' In the end, we got a psak from a gedol that he wasn't. But, people asking, "Why? When?? WHEN WILL YOU DO IT ALREADY??" was a big problem. I didn't want anyone to have to know his situation, it wasn't their business. Sometimes, people have trouble with boundaries. (I noticed this especially with frum people.) We both hated it.

People will continue to ask you about homeschooling, though. You can always say, "It's what we feel is best for our child. We consulted with our rebbeim, and they agree." Hopefully, this will give people the sign not to continue asking/judging.