daughter says that no one loves her

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Nov 24 2011, 11:48 pm

crackers wrote:

lately my 6 year old has been crying that no one loves her , ever body hates her and no one needs her.
has any one's child gone through some thing like this?

how you think I should respond ?

Ask her why she thinks that nobody loves her? Find out the reason why she is feeling this way.

ellie23

Fri, Nov 25 2011, 5:14 am

I agree with the above poster. ask her about school and her friends at school..did anything happen at school or home recently that could have set this type of thinking in motion? maybe she overheard something someone said that she misunderstood? this is not normal for a child and must be dealt with so it can be resolved.

ask her pointed, direct questions like why do you think that? do you think mommy and daddy dont need you?why? etc....after listening to her responses tackle them directly instead of dismissing them (dont just say of course everyone loves you, honey....that will not resolve her concern about a particular incident or worry).

for example if she says "I heard sarah telling rochel at school that everyone in class hates me" probe her more about why she thinks sarah would say such a thing and how sometimes people may be feeling upset and they may say things that arent true because they are upset....dont mindy and rivka love you? arent they your friends at school? etc...

the most important think is that when your daughter talks to you she feels understood and heard and that you are taking her concerns seriosuly and responding to them....stay close to her and listen-thats the best you can do!

Dolly Welsh

Fri, Nov 25 2011, 8:10 am

Right. And you could have her help you in the kitchen, or around the house. You might have her help sort laundry, and say what a good helper she is, helps Mommy get things done sooo much faster. Children love to sort things. Praise her at the time, and also later in front of DH, having prepped him to be so impressssed and to praise. She might also make a tiny little challah to put into the oven beside yours. Children love to be genuinely useful. Really give her something that will indeed help you. She wants to be needed.

hcw

Fri, Nov 25 2011, 9:10 am

My kids are grown now, but something I found helpful in these situations is to take the child out alone with you, and just do something fun. Take her to a restaurant, shopping, an amusement park, whatever you know she would enjoy, and just give her your undivided attention without discussing anything heavy duty.

Dolly Welsh

Sun, Nov 27 2011, 7:42 am

hcw wrote:

This, this.

ChaniH

Sun, Nov 27 2011, 7:48 am

Dolly Welsh wrote:

hcw wrote:

This, this.

agree!!!!!

imasinger

Sun, Nov 27 2011, 10:51 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

crackers wrote:

lately my 6 year old has been crying that no one loves her , ever body hates her and no one needs her.
has any one's child gone through some thing like this?

how you think I should respond ?

Ask her why she thinks that nobody loves her? Find out the reason why she is feeling this way.

This. And what Ellie said. Start by gathering as much info as you can.