I feel so embarrassed and stupid!

amother

Fri, Feb 03 2012, 10:28 am

on monday I called my rabbi to ask if he wouldn't mind paying a visit to my friend in hospital the next day when I was due to be visiting her. I didn't tell my friend that I was going to bring this rabbi, I just was so worried about her (I thought it was very serious the state she was in and I freaked out, panicking). I know I was so stupid and wrong, I was just going to turn up with this rabbi that she doesn't know (!!), but I just wasn't thinking straight and acted recklessly!
anyway my rabbi said to me on the phone when I called him that it would be impossible for him to do it that day as he had a serious meeting till late, but he told me other people I could contact, and if I can't get hold of anyone, call him back and he would with pleasure do it the next day (I.e tomorrow, he can do it)

thank G-d he was not able to do it, as when I paid a visit to my friend that same evening, she had been sent home. I didn't call my rabbi back. he doesn't know she's at home now, he probably assumes she's still in hospital and that I found someone else. when I called him, he probably sensed how worried I was as I was kind of panicking on the phone! embarrassed

he must think I have so much chutzpah to expect him to come immediately the next day and he also said to me "has she specifically asked to see a rabbi?" and I said "no but but I think she would like to!!!" (but maybe she wouldn't have wanted to, I don't know!). I feel so stupid and wrong about what I did!!

my father goes to this rabbi's shul every saturday and he knows him well so do you think he's going to say anything to my father tomorrow about what happened? I hope he will not say anything!! I feel so embarrassed!!

amother

Fri, Feb 03 2012, 10:38 am

amother wrote:

and should I call to apologise

amother

Fri, Feb 03 2012, 11:22 am

you did not do anything wrong I understand your feelings for your friend

call to say sorry if you want to but I don't think he thinks that of you

I don't think he will tell your dad (although I don't see why you fear this, it is not like you did anything bad at all), as it was a private call you made to him in confidence.
how old are you?

Tzutzie

Fri, Feb 03 2012, 11:30 am

I think it is just 'mentchlich' to call and explain yourself. to you it looked like this and this and you freaked out. I know you couldn't come but thanks for your though... something like that... and I don't think you need to be sooo embarrassed. ppl get very reckless when they see there friends dying. (or thing they are Wink

)

zaq

Fri, Feb 03 2012, 2:26 pm

You worry too much. I'm sure rabbanim get requests like this all the time. Be glad the rabbi couldn't make it, so you had a chance to learn from your mistake without anyone's getting hurt, embarrassed, angry or inconvenienced. You'll know for next time to ASK a sick or hospitalized person if they want visitors, esp. visitors they don't know.

You should, however, call your rabbi, thank him for his willingness to help out and say simply that he's off the hook because the person has been discharged. No need to burden him with irrelevant revelations about the way you goofed.

Barbara

Fri, Feb 03 2012, 3:03 pm

zaq wrote:

What she said.

Call the rabbi, say thank you so much for offering to meet you, but thankfully, your friend was discharged.

Trust me, any time I've apologized to a rabbi for something that I considered overreaching ("I'm sorry I called your rabbinic school friend to get your cell phone number, and called you in the middle of your Thanksgiving dinner in another state, but my friend, whom you've never met, wanted to talk to the rabbi of the synagogue where she grew up -- but hadn't attended in 15 years -- about her sick mother.") he's looked at me like I have 3 heads, and told me it was OK.

amother

Sat, Feb 04 2012, 1:59 pm

don't worryy:) he knows you were just worried about your friend. I seriously doubt he expects an apology from you and will prob be like don't be silly. sounds like he really wanted to help you. but if you are on friendly terms with this rabbi then call him to tell him what happened he might like to know