Is more money worth the stress????

amother

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 4:26 am

I have a part time supplemental income that doesn't bring in sooo much money a month, that stresses me out incredibly. Its a royal pain in the you know what to work for my boss, makes me cry or nearly in tears often enough, but my field is more specialized and I don't know how easily I'll find something else. (can't get into more details.)

What I want to know is- if my work is stressing me out too much, is it crazy to quit it without anything else lined up, and a possibility of remaining job less? Or is it better to have less money and just less stress?

amother

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 4:50 am

amother wrote:

Hashem doesn't give you a job to be stressed out about. So, either you have to figure out a way not to be stressed, or you can leave it and daven (and look) for another job and Hashem won't have a hard time finding you another one.
good luck

My feild is more specialized, there arent that many available employers in it in the first place.

smilingmom

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 7:08 am

I may be unqualified to answer this because in the 35 years I have worked at a dozen or so jobs, I have never been stressed out by the job, but here is my 2 cents worth.

Stress is usually not caused by one individual factor but a combination of life situations.
You may be attributing the stress to your job, but I assume you chose this field because you enjoy the work itself, so it isnot the work itself that is bothering you.

If you enjoy the job but "the boss" causes you stress, that can be controlled by you. It is your reaction and attitude to you boss that brings on stress. If you were to realize that he is just the shaliach that Hashem chose to deliver your paycheck, and that all of his nonsense is what you are being paid for, it is much easier to deal with.

energy11

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 7:21 am

No job is worth suffering for.
A job should be pleasant, or at least liveable.
If you suffer, cry, and if you are not yourself, then you are selling your soul for a paycheck!
And when you see your paycheck, do you have the feeling that it was worth it????
Hashem is against animals suffering, why should YOU suffer??
I understand it is a specific field, maybe you could work on your own?

Hashem often closes a door to open another.

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 9:03 am

It's hard to consider the decision to quit a job without asking a few more questions:

How badly do you need this job? Is it your family's source of health insurance? Can you do your specialty as a self-employed contractor or entrepreneur? Would you consider doing something else altogether that might have better job availability? Would the stress of being jobless be better than the stress of the job? What are the benefits of working to you and your family? What would be better about not working (other than not having an evil boss)?

amother

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 10:50 am

This is pretty part time work. It provides perhaps 1/6 of our income, and can we live without it? Probably, if we really, really tightened our belts. Its provided us some more wiggle room in our budget which we didn't have before... It doesn't provide any health benefits or anything like that, and I do have another part time job that I might possibly be able to increase my hours and income opportunity there if I leave this. Possibly, but no guarantee...

How would the lack of work affect my life?
Well, maybe I should elaborate what the current stress is like. I'm a freelancer working from home for a specific company, and I'm always afraid to check my email, afraid that I'll find another bombshell waiting for me, so I just push off checking my email which I need for other purposes... and when I do check my email, and a bomb shell does drop, I am totally in a tizzy, totally stressed out to the point that I'm non functional, that my brain just switches to "fog mode" because actually facing how I'm feeling is just too hard, and I practically feel catatonic and I walk around aimlessly unsure of what to do, how to please my increasingly harder to please boss... or breaking down in tears or screaming out of aggravation...

I don't think that type of stress is healthy...

But maybe its just part of maturity and being a grown up and learning to deal with it, even though its providing me with such aggravation.

And the biggest part is- they arent satisfied with my work all the time, they reject it sometimes after I put work into it, and then I don't get paid for that, so its not even "stable income" that I can rely on...

amother

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 10:54 am

Leaving this job would decrease this really big stress that keeps me on my toes constantly, which would make me a little more emotionally available for my family and emotionally available enough to possibly increase my income potential in the other things that I do... But lack of money does stress me out, but a different type of stress.

ora_43

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 11:10 am

So some new thoughts:

- Make a separate folder in your email for work mail, then at least you can check for emails from friends without seeing emails from your boss until you're ready for them.

- How's the income per hour when you take time spent on rejected work into account? Easy to replace? Keep in mind that out of home income is worth less than freelance, from home on your own time income in many cases.

- I think before quitting it might be worthwhile to (very politely) put your cards on the table with this boss. Tell them you're feeling you feel that their demands are not clear (or that they aren't respectful, or whatever it is that you're finding so upsetting) and it's getting so stressful that you're starting to think it just isn't working.

I had a boss once who upset me. Then at some point a coworker said, basically, "the way you treat everyone is awful and if you keep this up you won't have any workers left." And things got a lot better. Obviously that won't always work (and if you want any work or recommendations or anything from them in the future it's probably best not to be so blunt), but if you're thinking of leaving anyway it might be worth a shot.

chocolate chips

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 11:24 am

I had the same story.
I needed the money, needed the job to keep me sane but I started and after a week I was sooo stressed out. I hated it. Hated the boss.
dh sat me down and we worked out that after tax, after babysitter and after traveling (bus) I was left with about $35 a day. DH said it is not worth it to him this money because I will be so stressed out.

Sit down and work out the pros and cons of the job and take it from there. I love working but I cannot be stressed from it...then it is not worth the money or work.

amother

Thu, Feb 16 2012, 11:37 am

ora_43 wrote:

So some new thoughts:

- Make a separate folder in your email for work mail, then at least you can check for emails from friends without seeing emails from your boss until you're ready for them.

I do have a separate folder that work emails get filtered there, but even just seeing that I have a new message in that folder is enough to give me heart palpitations, because I'm expecting it to be yet another thing...

Quote:

- How's the income per hour when you take time spent on rejected work into account? Easy to replace? Keep in mind that out of home income is worth less than freelance, from home on your own time income in many cases.

I've actually never timed how much work I put into the projects, so its hard to say. I get paid per project and each project takes a different amount of time, depending on factors and how many issues they have with the final product that needs to be changed, etc...

Quote:

- I think before quitting it might be worthwhile to (very politely) put your cards on the table with this boss. Tell them you're feeling you feel that their demands are not clear (or that they aren't respectful, or whatever it is that you're finding so upsetting) and it's getting so stressful that you're starting to think it just isn't working.

I had a boss once who upset me. Then at some point a coworker said, basically, "the way you treat everyone is awful and if you keep this up you won't have any workers left." And things got a lot better. Obviously that won't always work (and if you want any work or recommendations or anything from them in the future it's probably best not to be so blunt), but if you're thinking of leaving anyway it might be worth a shot.

I have two bosses. One "good boss" and one higher up difficult boss. I'm thinking of putting my cards on the table with the "good boss".