Need help and chizuk about financial situation...

amother

Wed, Feb 29 2012, 3:06 pm

First of all, I wanna start off by saying that I love imamother because I can vent about these type of situations and get chizuk and advice from lots of frum women that I would never normally talk to about this in real life. So thank you imamother for letting me have a place where I can share my burden.
The story is that we really need chizuk and help financially. Basically I am married to the best husband in the world and we have 3 beautiful, healthy, adorable children. I have so much blessing and love in my life that I feel so guilty complaining. But financially we are losing our minds, especially the past few months/year. I personally dont have any marketable skills that are so extraordinary so basically, as soon as I became a Mom, I couldn't find a job that paid enough for me to make it worthwhile after childcare so I by default became a stay at home mom (not complaining about that, just stating the facts). I went to school for something years ago that could have become very lucrative but I was failing so bad and struggling that it just didn't work out. My husband is smart, confident, and has lots of skills but for some reason, every company he has worked for has either went down the tubes or just didn't give him the chance to grow or give him a good oppurtunity. And now with thousands out of jobs, even though my husband has quite an impressive resume and he usually makes a good impression at interviews, there are just hundreds of others competing for the same positions as him that have way more experience than him. Our youngest child is 6 months old, when she was born, my husband was given a loan to start a business venture that we truly thought would be succesful. He spoke to lots of experts in the field, he got the go ahead from a big Rav that has guided us in the past that he should do it and be succesful and we thought the timing was perfect since we have always heard that with each child comes bracha so we thought it would really work out. Well, needless to say, it didn't work out and we lost tons of money and dug an even deeper hole of debt for ourselves. Additionally, we had a small source of income coming in regularly (dont wanna get into details for fear of revealing myself) but we were kind of depending on it to help get us through each month and we just found out that we don't have that anymore. I could go on and on but I won't bore you with the technical details of our financial situation. Just to sum it up, we were in bad shape before our baby was born, and since we've had our baby, things have just nose dived and seem to keep spiraling downwards. We've even discussed moving to our parents, that's how bad its gotten but we are trying desperatly not to let that happen because it will be very very very bad for our shalom bayis. Anyways, I try not to complain and I try to daven, say tehillim, give tzedakah, do good things, but I'm really upset. I though Hashem send bracha and parnassah with each child, where is our parnassah? How are we supposed to support our children and send them to yeshiva? Of course we have bracha in that we are all healthy, and I do count my blessings but lets be realistic, we need money and I'm struggling struggling struggling...