Lets revive the IMAMOTHER WRITING CLUB

amother

Mon, Jul 09 2012, 7:23 pm

robynm wrote:

im blown away. a lot of this I could have written and it feels awful to read it written so well. I agree that you should send him the letter. I would want my child to send it to me. but I understand how painful it is to tell the prson whos hurt you all these years. you have inspired to me to write a truthful letter now.

Thank you for your words. I'm so flattered that you're blown away by my writing!

I will never (probably) send this letter. The relationship has sealed itself off in my book, and I would not want to stir up the ashes in whatever way. It would raise too many old ghosts.

I believe that my father has a personality disorder, though he has improved over the years, and initiating contact with an unstable parent, especially in such an intrinsic and non-superficial way, is much more than I can handle at this point in my life. But I truly appreciate the feedback. Hugs to you for your pain. Hug

MountainRose

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 8:28 am

amother wrote:

Dear Daddy,
Do you remember when you told me the story of the three bears, and I asked you how its possible that Mama's porridge was too cold and Papa's porridge was too hot if they came from the same pot? Do you remember telling me that Mama made a big pot of porridge and served herself first so that Papa's and Baby's porridge could stay hot? You explained how Mama bear got a phone call after serving her porridge so Papa's porridge stayed in the pot an hour longer and that's why it was still hot.
Do you remember all those silly questions I used to ask you? How did you always have answers for them?
My five-year-old seems to take after me with his endless questions. I don't take after you with endless and instant answers. He wants to know who's going to watch him if both of his parents will die someday. He wants to know how he will know who he's supposed to marry. He wants to know where he's going to live after he's married. He wants to know why tigers have stripes and cheetahs have spots and how to differentiate between a jaguar and a leopard. He wants to know why the Brooklyn Bridge and Manhattan Bridge are so close to each other and why the trains only go on the Manhattan Bridge not Brooklyn.
Daddy, we're going to your house for supper tonight. Please answer his questions.
Thank you.

There is something so sweet about this! It makes me really look forward to the time when DS starts asking questions.

amother

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 9:43 am

Dear Tatti,
There are so many things I want to ask You, but You never answer me. I want to know why so many people have cancer. Why is the treatment so painful and why doesn't it always work? I want to know what kind of future my special needs child will have and if he will ever be able to go to a regular school. I sometimes wonder why I bother talking to You, because no matter how many times I ask, I never get an answer. I feel like I'm saying the same things every day and sometimes wonder if I'm talking to myself.
Oops, its time to put the kids to bed. I'll continue after.

Dear Tatti,
Every night, my children try the same tricks. As soon as I tell them its almost bedtime, someone tips over a container of blocks knowing that I prefer not to clean it up so they could stay up a few minutes longer. There are always the same requests for drinks, the same staying in the bathtub until its empty, the same "I don't like these pajamas. I want different pajamas" time wasters. And finally, there's always the honest "I don't want to go to bed yet. Why do I have to go to bed when my friends stay up later?" Or "I don't like to take a bath. Why must I take a bath every night in the summer?" When I answer those questions, there are always more questions followed by more questions until I finally say that I'm not answering any more questions.
Tatti, am I like that? Do I not understand why some people go to bed earlier than others or why I really needed a bath tonight? Am I really stalling when I ask You why, instead of dealing with the situation on hand?
Every night my children try as hard as they can to delay bedtime. I'm going to learn from my children and try to delay bedtime too. Tatti, please tell me what tricks will work in delaying bedtime.
Thank You,
Your tired daughter

WhoAmINow

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 10:28 am

amother wrote:

SPOT ON!!
Well written! The range of feelings; the control of mood; the message(s)...you got me. You came in companionably, under my guard, one of my kind, and then - well, to quote a bumper sticker I saw years ago: 'What are you pretending not to know?'
Well written and well said. I needed to hear this - to think this. Thank you!

enneamom

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 3:49 pm

amother wrote:

W
O
W

the world's best mom

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 11:43 pm

Can't believe this thread had to happen when I was awasy for the summer with no internet access. I was thinking of writing a poem about my father, and I don't have time now, but I will write a quick letter:

Dear Abba,

I rememer the day, 22 years ago, when you walked into the house and announced to your seven daughters that we finally had a baby boy. It was Shavuos, and we were about to make Kiddush. As you walked in, Sari dropped the Kiddush cup, spilling the grape juice. She jumped on you and shouted, "It's a girl." Your face beamed as I had never seen it before, as you responded, "No, it's a boy!" We couldn't believe that we finally had a brother. Your long awaited son had finally arrived in this world, and you couldn't be happier.

I see your face now, and it is anything but beaming. You've lost a lot of weight, and your face reflects feelings of worry, pain and anguish, all bottled up inside you. Your smile has gone into hiding. You worry about your son, your firstborn male bundle of joy, who is now going through yet another unsuccessful cancer treatment. You can hardly bear to visit him in the hospital, to witness his pain, because you feel his pain even more than he does. To him, it is physical pain that he has to live through- and that he hopes to live through. For you it is the torture of watching your precious son be torn away from you, in the worst way.

Abba, I wish I could take the pain away. I wish I could make Chaim Dovid into a happy, healthy little boy again. (Fine, a BIG boy- he's 6 feet 2 inches tall.) I love you, and I wish you only Nachas from all of your children. If only I could change the world.

Love, one of your seven daughters

robynm

Thu, Sep 13 2012, 4:36 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

woah! thats intense.

tehllim name?