what to do when kids don't like the supper you make

AlwaysGrateful

Fri, Dec 21 2012, 9:41 am

saw50st8 wrote:

I serve one meal, no other options.

Its gotten my kids to try many things they otherwise wouldn't.

My 4 year old loves arugula now.

No one ever ate an alternate meal at my house growing up.

This. I will, however, almost always serve something that I know the kids have happily eaten before. If I serve something new, I'll include something else in the meal that I know they'll eat. For example, I've been thinking about making a stew on one of these cold winter days, but I haven't made one since last winter, and I don't know if the kids will eat it. So I'm going to serve the stew over whole wheat couscous (which I know they like). Odds are, even if they don't love the stew, they'll eat a carrot or two out of it. That's enough to fill them up for the night. And they might even like it!

I will adjust meals according what kids like. As a pp said, if one kid doesn't like cottage cheese, I might give everyone else pasta and cottage cheese but put mozzerella on his. I might even offer plain pasta, and maybe a few slices of cheese on the side. But give them a completely different dinner? No. I think that makes picky eaters more picky. Yes, my kids would rather have fishsticks than chicken. But they will eat chicken too, if it's served to them. And they know that kvetching won't get them fishsticks.

I try to introduce a new type of food only once a week or once every two weeks. Once I know that both kids will eat a food, it becomes a meal that I can use whenever I want, without having to think about it.

zigi

Fri, Dec 21 2012, 9:53 am

I don't like to make power struggles over food and supper. I make it. its a good night if 3 out 5 eat it. they can make themselves oatmeal or bread and cheese.

sometimes when they see the other kids or dh and me eat it they will want to try it. the youngest child/baby usually eats whatever the parent eats. when they go to preschool then they start to get picky.

I do have a basic like plain pasta or rice for them to eat. and of course cut veggies for a snack.

melalyse

Fri, Dec 21 2012, 10:26 am

I don't want to fight and hear whining - it is not worth it. My kids are 7, 5 and 2 and the 2 older ones are very, very, very picky. I keep frozen pizza, fish sticks, hot dogs, chicken nuggets and pancakes in the freezer. When they come home for school they tell me what they want and I put it in the microwave and toaster oven. The 2 yr old is a little more flexible and I can sometimes give up leftovers from the night before. DH and I eat dinner after the kids are sleeping and I make dinner for the 2 of us - the kids are not even in the equation when I make dinner for us.

AlwaysGrateful

Fri, Dec 21 2012, 10:57 am

Chicken or the egg? Do parents of picky kids end up catering to them? Or do kids of parents who cater to them and don't make them eat "real" food end up creating picky kids?

It's a good question. Since my kids are pretty little now, and I only have two of them who eat, I can't say that I can answer it definitively. But if I were a researchers, I'd love to do a study...

flowerpower

Fri, Dec 21 2012, 11:08 am

I take my kids taste buds into consideration when cooking. If I make sesame chicken and one kid doesn't like it I'll leave a few pieces of plain cutlets for him. If a kid really hates the supper then he can have a sandwich-as long as it doesn't become a habit.

33055

Fri, Dec 21 2012, 11:16 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

I read a study once about a decade ago that said that children's tastes are influenced by what the mother are when she was expecting.

Rodent

Sat, Dec 22 2012, 9:43 am

They eat what they're given or they eat nothing at all. They always find something on their plate that they will eat even if there is something they don't like (they're known to swap things with their brothers occasionally, they can go ahead if it makes them happy).

The only time I didn't follow this theory was when my eldest was 3, had months of ear/sinus etc pain and infections that left him unable to taste food properly, no appetite, painfully skinny and downright ill. In that case I would give him foods that I knew he would eat that would give him energy and a bit more immunity. But your average healthy kid, no way.

myself

Sat, Dec 22 2012, 4:42 pm

Are my kids the only ones who would NEVER agree to eat a sandwich or cereal for supper? I've given them the option but they never agree, they say it's just not supper! I'll make sure that there's at least one thing that they like and then they can supplement with a fruit.

nylon

Sat, Dec 22 2012, 6:38 pm

I make one meal. You can eat it or not, but I'm not making anything else. There is always one thing on the table each person will eat. (If anyone has read Ellyn Satter's books I try to go by that, though my one quibble with her is that I think she is dismissive of failure to thrive and gives anecdotes about a baby whose food is fattened and so chooses to eat less).

My nearly 6yo dd is picky in a very stereotypical way, by the way (pasta, bread, schnitzel type eater). I don't give in.

I've seen picky eaters who were born, and picky eaters who were encouraged. (I am referring to people I know personally, BTW.)

If both my kids are home for lunch sometimes we all have different things (because I try to use up leftovers, and sometimes there will be 1 portion left of something) but I'm seriously considering serving one meal for that too.

pobody's nerfect

Sat, Dec 22 2012, 9:06 pm

like other posters, I make sure there is some way I can adapt the regular meal to something my 3 year old will eat.
we're having lasagna? he'll have the plain noodles, cut up, with shredded cheese on the side.
we're having spiced salmon and rice? he'll have plain salmon with a little maple syrup and some bread.

he knows that every meal must have protein and starch. I'd love to require a fruit or veggie too but literally the ONLY one he'll eat is shredded carrot muffins! one day, I hope...

Mrs Bissli

Sun, Dec 23 2012, 2:30 am

myself wrote:

Are my kids the only ones who would NEVER agree to eat a sandwich or cereal for supper?

I'm quite convinced that having cereal for supper is a perfectly acceptable minhag for Americans while I associate cereal as appropriate for breakfast only.

bamamama

Sun, Dec 23 2012, 3:10 am

My kids complain but they always find something on the table to eat - even if it's wasa with peanut butter.

One trick I've found sometimes works is to serve DH and myself a new food and not serve it to them. Inevitably they ask and want to try some. Sometimes they like it and sometimes they don't.

And, FTR, I totally don't get kids who won't touch any fruits or veggies. I don't get it.

Culturedpearls

Sun, Dec 23 2012, 4:49 am

I have some fussy kids & some not. I make sure to serve 2 courses. Soup & main course with 2 side dishes & salad.
The soups are popular with everyone so if someone doesn't like the main they'll fill up on soup. I also make sure that the sides or one of is to everyone's liking.
If the fussy ones don't eat salad I'm not worried because they got the vegetables in the soup.
I do introduce new recipes regularly (I love cooking) so the kids always know to try something first.
Also soups freeze well.

sneakermom

Sun, Dec 23 2012, 5:43 am

My main policy about food is not to make an issue of it. I serve supper, you eat what you like from the supper. And hopefully go away satisfied from the table. On occasion a child will protest about the supper whereupon I don't mind if you find something else to eat that doesn't mess my kitchen or require me to run in circles.

I want my kids to develop a natural appetite and rhythm of eating. I try not to get in the way of that by making absolute statements.