teen social smoking

amother

Tue, Dec 25 2012, 5:47 am

My teen bared his soul, that even though he knows how terrible it is, he is smoking. He doesn't want to, for the health reasons, but everyone is smoking. Israelis smoke, it's a cultural thing. And he finally gave in, under social pressure, and now he doesn't know what to do because he likes it. Apparently, he said, the nicotine makes him feel good.

What should I do?

rachel91

Tue, Dec 25 2012, 6:12 am

I know it's very hard, knowing that smoking is very unhealthy and seeing your teen doing it, but I don't think there is much you can do now, if you'll forbid it he'll do it behind your back(most propably) lots of people grow up and realize that smoking is wrong. As I understood from your post you spoke to him already and he knows its unhealthy, try talking to him again explaining and if it doesn't help leave it for a while, maybe he'll stop by himself.

Tue, Dec 25 2012, 8:03 am

Does he want to stop but can't because it feels good? Whenever he is ready, help him find a doctor and give him whatever support he needs.

It's ok to say smoking is not allowed in the house. Other people should not have to deal with the smell and health effects. However, make sure your son knows you're on his side, always.

Tamiri

Tue, Dec 25 2012, 8:07 am

amother wrote:

Israelis don't smoke. Your son and his friends do. Some other Israeli do. No one in my family does, nor do the Israeli people I know. Which means you are giving your son a "social" excuse to smoke rather than telling him that he's weak. You gave in to him, why wouldn't he give in to social pressure? Why didn't he give in to the social pressure of the non-smokers? What are you asking? He already told you he likes it and you "okayed" it by calling it "giving in to social pressure".
What do you think you CAN do with a grown boy who made a choice?

Tablepoetry

Tue, Dec 25 2012, 8:48 am

Tamiri wrote:

amother wrote:

I agree. Most Israelis don't smoke. The percentage of smokers in Israel has been decreasing from year to year.
But there's not much you can do...just make sure he's not doing it anywhere near the house, that would be a huge no-no for me. And emphasize how disappointed/worried you are.

Isramom8

Tue, Dec 25 2012, 9:09 am

It's more rare for the child of American parents to smoke. Can you get your hands of the sefer, Chaim Le'lo Ishun Lefi Halacha? Would he care? There are DVDs and things too, some geared to yeshiva guys.

Not all Israeli teens smoke. My son was in an Israeli good yeshiva. He said that one of his roomates smoked and it made the room disgutsing. I asked if I should call the administration. He was like, "No, we...uh...took care of him."

On the other hand, my sons have walked into Israeli yeshivas that are considered rehab, seen too much smoke, and walked right out.

Would he want to move on to a different, non-smoking chevra?

PinkFridge

Tue, Dec 25 2012, 10:32 am

Isramom8 wrote:

Great suggestions to change his environment, but if there's anyone who's BTDT, would you recommend any professionals or guided programs so that he wouldn't be on his own if he really wants to stop? What's the best way to go?