Fairness and confidentiality

amother

Thu, Mar 14 2013, 5:41 pm

I have a strict no eating policy in my class. However, I make exceptions for students with medical conditions that need to be able to eat whenever they feel the need (at the beginning of the year, each teacher gets a list of students in their classes who have conditions and what accommodations need to be made; if a student is diagnosed with something mid-year, teachers are updated accordingly). Sure enough, I have a diabetic student in one of my 9th grade classes this year, so of course, he is excepted from my rule. He is very discrete about it, so it actually took until this week for another student to notice him eating in class. As is common for 9th graders, the other student thought of nothing but the unfairness of the situation (in past years, I've had this with kids in older grades, and no one has ever complained). Anyway, for the past several days, the other students in this class have been whining about my policy and demanding an explanation for why this one classmate gets to eat in class. I am bound by confidentiality and am not at liberty to discuss the kid's medical condition with others. I just say my policy is what it is, he has an exception for reasons that are not your business. I've been repeating this line for days now, to no avail. I've even gotten "but it is our business because he's allowed and we're not!" How do I end this conversation? I am NOT interested in changing my rule, it has served me well until now, and continues to work in other classes. I just want to get these kids to understand that the rule is important, and that I have the discretion to make the occasional exception, and they are NOT entitled to an explanation.

seeker

Thu, Mar 14 2013, 6:56 pm

Ugh, I get so annoyed when the kids keep whining despite the "broken record" approach. Have you tried telling them that if they have any objections to your policy, they can take it up with the principal? (of course, assuming you have cleared the policy with the principal - I.e. that you allow students to eat if and only if they have a proven medical reason) And I know your policy is not up for negotiation, and I really don't know that much about diabetes management, but assuming the students are eating because they require sugar, could they use glucose tablets or such instead of actual food during class? That would certainly remove the mystique of one kid eating, it would just look like some kind of medicine.

But anyway, even if my suggestions aren't helpful, I'm with you in frustration over immature kids.

For future reference, I wouldn't even have gone as far as to say "he has an exception for reasons that are none of your business." Leaves an opening for them to either come up with their own "reasons" or try to find out his. I'd just stick with the "mind your own business" part in some form.

seeker

Thu, Mar 14 2013, 7:30 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

Why dont you tell those students to speak to the affected student? He probalby has some excuse in place, let him deal with it.

I think that's mean to the student. Even if he does have a response ready, he still doesn't deserve for the teacher to set such a bunch of nudniks on him. These obviously aren't the most mature, respectful kids.

amother

Thu, Mar 14 2013, 7:40 pm

I am also not understanding why these students need to eat in the class. Diabetics do not need to be constantly grazing. Glucose tablets should be sufficient to manage most of the time. Unless the Dr specifically said this student needs constant access to food I would not give blanket permission but I would be very understanding of periodic eating.

AlwaysGrateful

Fri, Mar 15 2013, 7:46 am

Come on, don't be so tough on these kids. Can't you see where they're coming from? They don't know about confidentiality. For all they know, you really like this kid better than them, or you let him eat because his mommy called up the school and said he could, or because he told you he's STARVING if he doesn't eat...and so are they. Do what you must -- tell them to ask the principal, tell them to stop asking you because yo'ure the teacher and your word is law...but at least hear them, recognize that for teenagers who are obsessed with fairness, they're actually asking you a very valid question. You can't answer it, but that doesn't mean it's not valid.

Fox

Fri, Mar 15 2013, 8:31 am

Were I a student, I would also find this policy completely confusing. I know of virtually no medical conditions, including diabetes or hypoglycemia, in which someone regularly requires emergency food.

A diabetic student whose blood sugar falls precipitously should have glucose tablets, which are hardly in the same category as a snack. They are quickly and discreetly consumed. If you have more than a few diabetic students in your classroom, it might be wise to keep some glucose tablets in your supplies.

But if the situation is not an immediate emergency (e.g., a student feels his blood sugar level is a little low but is not yet having severe symptoms), why can't the student simply excuse himself from class for a few minutes in order to eat?

There are a ton of medical conditions that require people to excuse themselves from various events to take care of their health and well-being. Normally, they excuse themselves and take care of whatever they need. Placing eating-related conditions in a category by themselves seems to me to be asking for trouble!

seeker

Fri, Mar 15 2013, 8:45 am

Glucose tablets, yes. Excusing yourself from the room, not so simple. You think these kids aren't going to come up with the same problem for that? "Why do you let him leave the room so often and not me?" I have a kid with a bathroom issue and as diplomatic as I try to be about it, I never hear the end of it from the other students.

amother

Fri, Mar 15 2013, 8:45 am

Op here. The diabetic student is not grazing all day. Maybe once a month he needs to eat, and it's always one of those special bars. I trust he knows what to do to manage. I like the idea of telling the kids to go bother the principal- they probably won't, the less interaction with him, the better Very Happy

and yes, my policy is school policy, though not everyone enforces it.

pobody's nerfect

Fri, Mar 15 2013, 9:03 am

I have 2 meshalim I use at the beginning of the year in my 2nd grade class to explain why I use differentiated worksheets, standards, and rules.

1) Chaim is wearing glasses. Hey! That's not fair. If he gets, we all get. (kids say: but we don't need!) ok then, if we don't wear, chaim can't wear. (but he needs them!) oh, we all need different things?

2) kids make up invisible boo-boos. I ask first child where it hurts and place bandiad there. I ask second child where it hurts, but regardless of where it is, I place bandaid in same place as first child. repeat with whole class. Kids complain that it won't help to have bandaid on elbow if injury is on knee! well, I say, I wanted to be fair....

whenever a child complains during the year that it's not fair Dovi can do only half the sheet, or Malki is allowed to get ready for recess 5 min early, etc. I just say... well, this is the bandaid he/she needs!