My friend's ds is my son's biggest bully in school

abound

Fri, May 24 2013, 12:49 am

I cannot believe you are serious! YOu are protectinhg yourself over protecting your son. Since it will be uncomfortable at the best if you really take care of this issue, you are letting your son get bullied every day so that it should not be akward for you with a neighbor.

5*Mom

Fri, May 24 2013, 1:45 am

Merrymom wrote:

...insist that the school deal with this immediately.

That would be a great idea IF schools knew how to deal with bullying. They don't. Not a clue.

OP, YOU need to do some research, either online or by talking to a qualified professional and provide your ds's school with some information and resources to deal with the problem effectively for both boys. Should you have to? No. Do you have to? If you don't, no one else will. The situation will not get better. It will get worse.

the world's best mom

Fri, May 24 2013, 6:51 am

Merrymom, I disagree with you. OP hasn't mentioned how old her child is. Maybe he is a preschooler who is getting therapy to deal with his issues and the mother is embarrassed to admit it. Or maybe she simply doesn't know what to do with him and is trying her best. My ds was a big bully last year. He has special needs. My whole neighborhood knows that he is and that he's getting therapy. B"H, he has improved a lot. Noone got angry at me when he hurt their kids numerous times because they saw that I WAS dealing with it every time. That didn't make him instantly not a bully.

however, if the mother is saying that your kid is just sensitive, that's an indication that she's not dealing with it.

Either way, you need to help your son and if you approach the principal together with his mom, it will help her join you in a team approach to deal with it.

the world's best mom

Fri, May 24 2013, 6:51 am

busydev

Fri, May 24 2013, 11:48 am

Once you say that the mother says that your child is sensitive that changes the picture. she is not willing to work with you. do whatever you can to help your son (social worker, prinicpal, teacher etc etc etc). dont give her the cold shoulder... but likely she will be giving it to you soon. when she calls freaking out say im sorry you have to deal with this, but my son comes first. end of story.

granolamom

Fri, May 24 2013, 1:12 pm

At the risk of standing alone I will say this. Do not judge the mother of a bully until you have walked in shoes. How many times have we heard from mothers of poor eaters or biting preschoolers or babies who don't sleep through the night, saying they have tried everything and none of the standard wisdom seems to help? It's so easy to solve a problem when it isn't your own.

Think about it, if your child is a bully, your 'not standing for it' is not likely to change him. As a parent, it is probably easier to help your child if he is the victim rather than the bully.