Raining Tears | Imamother

greenfire

Thu, Aug 01 2013, 11:48 am

Raining Tears

Can someone hold me
PLEASE ~ I BEG !!!
I seek some comfort
in human arms.

A hand, a touch
A pat on my head,
Please assure me
that I'm not dead.

I cry, I wail
no one hears.
Nobody dares acknowledge
even my quiet whimpering.

Is it all for naught
my deepest pain?
I SCREAM aloud
to GOD in vain!

My tears roll down
my face is salty,
from my eyes
unto my cheeks.

Then suddenly I feel a trickle
the rain begins to pour,
As God sees my pain & begins to cry alongside
with a heavy torrential rain.

It's coming down.
I'm soaking wet.
This is the closest
to a hug I get.

My body almost comforted
just like the morning dew.
Until I realize yet again
I need that hug from YOU!!!

mandr

Thu, Aug 01 2013, 12:40 pm

I like this a lot. I just don't understand the last stanza too well. Is the "YOU" supposed to be Hashem? If that's the case, why are you almost comforted but then aren't?

greenfire

Thu, Aug 01 2013, 12:43 pm

the YOU is supposed to be the person(s) that should love me - but don't exist & I'm almost comforted by God - but then I'm not because he made me human and as such need the touch of a human inasmuch as one needs air to breath

mandr

Thu, Aug 01 2013, 12:52 pm

greenfire wrote:

Ahhh that's one interpretation I thought of but wasn't sure. I like this and it's so true. There's a reason we live in a physical world with physical needs. Spiritual fixes don't cover everything, but they help. I wrote this poem once, but I was somewhat in denial. I didn't feel totally, 100% better afterwards although I do make it sound like that.

I open the window
And move aside the shades
My surroundings are blurred
My environment fades

I'm in a new world
Which is so full of light
It smothers the sadness
I felt earlier tonight

I whisper so softly
To the endless black sky
For Hashem to join me
To bring me up high

Within seconds were together
The bond is feeling tight
An awesome presence fills my heart
The stars and moon are bright

I savor every moment
As I empty out my soul
I allow his warmth and special comfort
Fill each painful hole

I speak of all the nagging doubts
Lodged inside my mind
I mention fears and other troubles
Doubts of every kind

He listens well to all I say
With sympathy and care
The outside world, the nightly forces
Also seem to hear

All at once I feel engulfed
With feelings so divine
And suddenly it's clear to see
That all will turn out fine

I bid farewell with parting words
And shift my eyes away
I know the absence won't be real
For in my heart He'll stay

I close the window
The shades I restore
I'm already waiting for the night
That we can meet once more

greenfire

Thu, Aug 01 2013, 1:00 pm

thanx for understanding & reading

your poem definitely has that in common ... it was a different thread I read this morning that inspired me to write this poem - because many times I feel like that OP

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....20966

mandr

Thu, Aug 01 2013, 1:16 pm

Aha. I'm trying to think of all this rain today as beneficial. It's so hard when you're so tired.

greenfire

Thu, Aug 01 2013, 1:20 pm

you have to stand outside in nature [aka backyard] to have rain be beneficial enough to cry without someone coming with a straight jacket to take you away [especially if you're in pajamas] Teary Eyed

robynm

Fri, Aug 02 2013, 11:34 am

Your poem really hits me hard.

Unfortunately can relate. I guess divorce does that to you.
It feels like a huge empty void not to have any physical (or even emotional) affection in my life. No matter how hard I try to fill my time and keep busy, I still feel that emptiness deep down.

A little over a year ago, I was very sick in the hospital and apparently turned to a friend who came to visit me and asked for her to hold me. She told me later on that I must have been very sick to ask that since it was so out of character. What she didn't know was that I crave being held or at least being hugged badly but would never ask, like you said, it comes off weird. So instead, I go to friends houses and hold their babies. It is very comforting, while still a little painful.

I've never really thought of the rain like that. I hope we all find comfort soon.

tsiggelle

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 11:01 am

It's not easy when surrounded by people who don't 'do' hugs, especially when you need one and don't know whom to ask.

It would be nice to have a few people to get and give hugs with when needed. That might be talking Chinese to some people.

greenfire

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 11:03 am

tsiggelle wrote:

That might be talking Chinese to some people.

yes tsiggelle - it's a foreign language

thank you for hearing what I feel Hug

tsiggelle

Mon, Aug 12 2013, 11:44 am

greenfire wrote:

tsiggelle wrote:

That might be talking Chinese to some people.

yes tsiggelle - it's a foreign language

thank you for hearing what I feel Hug

Problem is, that it won't help moving to China , because for them it's Portuguese.

Solution is to find someone or someones who do speak the language.