Let's talk bed time..

amother

Mon, Sep 02 2013, 9:53 pm

I am TOTALLY losing my mind!!! Bed time is the biggest nightmare for me. My children ages 8,7,3,1 all go to sleep at the same time. But NOBODY listens to me. I ask them to go to sleep 100 times and they just keep coming out with a million excuses, or they start fighting, etc. I usually end up screaming really loud and sometimes have to patch. Do you have any suggestions or tips that you have used that have worked for you? I really need the evenings to relax and once they get a little older, those day will be over. I just can't keep having anxiety attacks every day knowing that bedtime is about to come and.....

momX4

Mon, Sep 02 2013, 10:43 pm

Put the younger kids to sleep first while the older kids are reading or playing quietly.

Give every child time to talk to you before you leave their room. They are coming out of bed for negative attention. My one year old wait for me to sit on her bed and then she starts blabbering about her day.

What time do you put them to sleep? When my kids are overtired they tend to get hyper and I tend to lose it.

supermama2

Mon, Sep 02 2013, 10:59 pm

Why should the 8 y.o. go to sleep at the same time as the 1 and 3 y.o.? I agree with trying to put the 'littles' down first and expressing how the 'big' sibblings get to stay up quietly reading or the like.

amother

Mon, Sep 02 2013, 11:05 pm

I find that now that some of my kids are getting older it works better to put the younger ones in first.

Maybe start with the 3 yr old and while he;s falling asleep put the baby in.

Wait 20-25 min and then put the 7 yr old in (who is already in pajamas playing or reading in another room).

Then at let's say - 8:30 let your 8 yr old know that's her bedtime and escort her to her bed.

small bean

Mon, Sep 02 2013, 11:09 pm

I do everyone in pajamas at the same time. the older ones can read in bed, while I put younger ones to bed. then at X time, I say no more reading etc...

Isramom8

Tue, Sep 03 2013, 6:16 am

Very difficult. My kids tend to get energetic at night, and after 23 years of raising kids, it's still somewhat of an issue.

What helped our family was for me to let go a lot of my expectations and control. When kids have a reason to wake up early that motivates THEM, then they do, and then they are tired a little earlier the next night.

Some kids like to fall asleep on the parents' beds. And what's really wrong with it? Whatever works.

As Mayim Bialik writes in Beyond the Sling, "You are home to your children. You are what is right in the day. And you are also what is right in the night."

Kids need to feel that they aren't being abandoned and controlled at night.

They need to feel that Mommy is relaxed and enjoys spending part of the evenings reading to them and singing to them in a cozy room.

Does this mean giving up free, quiet hours in order to achieve more shalom bayis? Yes.

lifesajourney

Tue, Sep 03 2013, 10:58 am

Definitely put younger ones in earlier, older ones out of the room!! Have a good Bedtime routine and keep reminding them of the steps as they go. Now we're eating supper, than its bath/shower time, clean up, books and lights out. You can let them jump around for the first 15 minutes(and tell them of this rule) and then lights out. If they keep coming out, you can sit in the room in your own chair (no talking!!), read a book to yourself. Your presence will keep them in bed. Easier than yelling! After a week try dropping it, or moving closer to the door. Good luck!!!

zigi

Tue, Sep 03 2013, 11:34 am

do incentives work? I told them whoever falls asleep gets a candy under the pillow. how about charts if you all go to bed on time we will play a game together go somewhere etc.

also love and logic says let them figure it out. as long as they are in their room. and the lights are off, I am ok with it. if I wake them up when they need to get ready for school. they do adjust their sleeping schedule.

I also separate them when they fall asleep I try to do one in each room. then wait for them to fall asleep and then the next ones go to sleep. the big kids are reading, doing homework when the younger kids are going to sleep.

for sholom bayis I do need my nights. otherwise I go to sleep late and then I am a wreck.