does no one understand what a loan is?!-vent

amother

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 9:33 am

my dh and I currently in $200,000 debt due to loans from medical school.
he just started his residency and soon we will be paying it back.
my parents are putting major pressure on me to go back to school now for a masters, which would require at the minimum a $40,000 loan.
obv everything is plus interest.
besides the fact that school is rough as it is, add 2 kids, plus a dh who is never home, the thought of having that loan over my head for the next 35 years is daunting.
my parents just dont get it.
and its stressing me out till no end.
I need support

sayinghi

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 9:42 am

amother wrote:

I currently have 100k in loans from nursing school so I understand your fears.

Firstly, I think YOU need to make the decision about whether or not you want to go back to school, not your parents.

Secondly, will your parents help you with $ or with child care?

Thirdly, is there a way for you to get a job in your field with just a BA and then have your company pay for your education even if you have to do it slowly?

TwinsMommy

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 9:45 am

it's up to you and your husband whether you should go for the masters- not your parents!

My husband and I both have masters degrees we're not using for various reasons. We still owe $70,000 on the loans 15 years after graduating. My husband makes just $20,000 a year. I'm self employed, working part time. If we could go back and erase our masters we would. We're not on government dole baruch HaShem because of my income but honestly on his income alone we'd probably qualify for some programs- it's crazy. He used to make triple what he's making now-- you just never know where you'll end up.

A masters is great if you really want it and you have much higher earning potential after. But in our case we just went for it because it was the thing to do- bad mistake. Go for the masters if you're comfy with the debt load and YOU really want it!

$200,000 in debt is a lot. If I were you I'd stick right there and not take on more.

amother

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 10:06 am

op here-
woosh just getting that off my chest felt good.
my parents are supporting us financially, and help whenever they can with my kids, but both have busy lives.
they think that with a masters, you are protected for life.
honestly, I think they feel that way, bc they both dont have masters, and think the grass is greener on the side, that I will be secured in the future.

the answer is NO, I dont want to go to school RIGHT NOW, while I might agree with my parents that later on in life it might be easier to work, or do whatever, just right now, it is actually the last thing I want to do.
so when I think of all the aspects that go into school, having to pay back all that money, just makes it even more stressful.
im currently not working bc we just moved, so my parents see this opportunity to sway me to go big, as opposed to just finding a job (like a secretary)

Frumdoc

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 11:06 am

What would be the point in going back to study if your heart isn't in it - I completely hear that right now you could do without another stress focus in your already stressful life.

It isn't your parent's business how you chose to run your life and the decisions you make, but the fact that they help support does grey this boundary and I see how they feel they have a say in it, although they can't force you, and they shouldn't use their financial support to dictate your choices.

I would sit them down and tell them that they are causing you a lot of stress with their pressure, that you hear their point of view but having considered the options and discussed it at great length with your dh, you have come to the decision that going back to school is not right for you right now.

If they continue to bring it up, remind them of the conversation and say that there is nothing to add, that your decision stands.

Hopefully, they can respect you enough as an adult that they will stop hassling you.

smiledr

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 12:28 pm

My husband and I have about 330000 in loans we pay 18000 a year. And we pay it without worry. A degree is only worth the loan u need for it if you can pay back the loans easily with the job you'll have due to the degree - that's my opinion so if they want u to take out 40 k to be something like a social worker where there is small hope if earning very much (no need to start screaming at me for this - it's a fact - avg social workers make 40-50 k a year and w the current interest rates your monthly payment would eat up a large chunk of ur paycheck - and it's post tax dollars). If your husband is a dr you won't starve but it can never hurt to be prepared. If your parents are willing to pay for the degree that's a different story...

causemommysaid

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 12:35 pm

smiledr wrote:

student loan interest is post tax dollars but you get a straight up credit for it off your tax return up to $4,000 and that is per student per year.

correct me if I am wrong- thats how my tax software seems to do it each year

OOTforlife

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 2:34 pm

ysmommy wrote:

smiledr wrote:

Unless something's changed, I think you only get a deduction. And the amount is reduced as your income goes up. Once you hit somewhere 70-90K (per person I think) you get nothing at all. The 4000 credit I think is for tuition paid that year I think, when you're in school. That's ow I remember it a few years ago.

OP, in many fields it is common to get one's first job with a bachelor's and then have the employer pay for a masters through a tuition reimbursement plan. Big companies usually have those programs, though its not always easy to get approved. You might look into it.

amother

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 2:38 pm

op here-
smiledr, thats exactly what I was thinking of going for. social work.
I am aware of how little they make in comparison to what the loans are going to be.
I also am aware of how much they work, and how hard, and how little they make for it.
I keep telling my parents that the degree is only worth it, if paying it back is somewhat easy.

thanks for the advice everyone.

Mrs Bissli

Wed, Oct 09 2013, 4:48 pm

DO NOT LET ANYONE--EVEN YOUR PARENTS--PUT PRESSURE ON YOUR LIFE, CAREER, AND FINANCIAL DECISION.

You can decide whether pursuing a master's degree is beneficial to you, and if so when is the good time. You can grit your teeth, smile politely, and thank your parents for their well meaning advice.

On a practical side, are there on-line courses you can pursue part-time toward the degree?

amother

Thu, Oct 10 2013, 9:37 am

op here-
thank you mrs. bissili
its very hard for me not to be swayed by pressure. I feel extremely indebted to my parents for all the support (financially and everything else) they have given us. its hard for me not to listen to them.
and online courses, esp masters, (like touro) are verrrrry expensive. special education, ur looking at $1500 a course!!!