What shall we do? | Imamother

amother

Thu, Oct 31 2013, 2:50 am

Ok I know she has a girlfriend. I don't know the extent of the relationship but I'm scared... Is there any use of taking g her to therapy? Oh and she still has very limited contact with boys but she doesn't want or seem interested in them. She's kind of shut down now so I have no idea what's going g on in her head... oh this is so painful....

slushiemom

Thu, Oct 31 2013, 6:09 am

how old is she? if she's 17/18 or 23/24 that makes a big difference

sequoia

Thu, Oct 31 2013, 11:57 am

Yeah, then you can't "take" her to therapy.

Goldie1964

Thu, Oct 31 2013, 11:35 pm

There are some really good groups for parents of gay or possibly gay kids. If you are online, you can check out Temicha, which is a support group for parents. They have some fabulous counselors and people who you can talk to, who can reassure you your child won't (or probably won't) go off the derech unless you freak out. There's quite a few excellent resources on their website too.http://www.temicha.org/

amother

Thu, Oct 31 2013, 11:37 pm

And what abt support groups for my daughter? She is quite confused....

amother

Fri, Nov 01 2013, 12:08 am

I dont think shes confused I think she knows exactly what she wants, the confusion is fear of what u, her family and the rest of the world will say if she really comes out as gay. she must be very scared, being gay is not accepted by most people, support her, shes ur daughter, continue to show unconditional love. she needs u right now
good luck

Goldie1964

Fri, Nov 01 2013, 2:13 am

There's a support group for Frum gay kids called Eshel ( www.eshelonline.org). They don't make people gay if they aren't already, but they do encourage and support the kids to stay frum. Some of the counselors are nationally recognized for their excellence with youth. I wish you much luck and much heart in dealing with your new reality.

DrMom

Fri, Nov 01 2013, 2:16 am

It's not unusual for girls go through a phase where they have a girlfriend.

Your dd may or may not permanently prefer the company of women.

Make sure she knows you love her either way.