Help with my teen daughter.

amother

Mon, Oct 17 2011, 12:07 am

I have a 13 year old beautiful daughter. She is one of those wise beyond her years type of kids. She is a bit socially awkward as she only likes to hang out with the adults and be involved in adult conversations yet she acts like a child in so many ways. I am having a certain situation that I need guidance with. She will not wear a bra or deodorant . With both these situations I have tried speaking with her heart to heart. I have tried taking her to the store to pick the things that interest her. I have tried family members speaking to her. Her response is usually shrugging her shoulders like "yes I know ok ok I'll put it on" but the conversation results in nothing. I feel that her maturity level is not keeping up with her physical body. Her body is one of a women but her mind is still immature. She smells when she goes out which makes it very embarrassing for me. Has anyone had an experience like this or maybe some advice to offer? TIA

Merrymom

Mon, Oct 17 2011, 1:02 am

Have the school nurse speak with her, sometimes if it doesn't come from the mother it might help. If nothing helps then I would make some consequences. "Oh, you want that new top, sorry, but until I see you wearing your bra every day for two weeks, I'm not buying you anything". Things like that. I find that this works with my kids (different issues) because then they feel like they can choose whether to listen or not (some choice right? Wink

)

TieDye

Sun, Nov 17 2013, 9:47 pm

I can see why you're frustrated. As a teacher I can tell you that a lot of parents must be having this problem because there are some really stinky days in my classroom. Picking out a nice smelling deodorant and maybe a body spray to go with it might help - but you may have to check on her every day before she leaves the house. If you don't think that she'll respond well to that, just try to compliment her when she does remember. Most girls don't have an interest in deodorant and bras unless they have an older sister or a few friends who are using them already. Do you know why she doesn't want to do these things? Is the bra that she has uncomfortable? Does she feel weird about putting on deodorant because she thinks it's a grown up thing and she's too young? Maybe she just doesn't smell herself. When you get to the reason whys she won't do it, then you'll have a better idea how to get her to try.