2 yrs of gifts w/o a thank you. Keep giving or not?

flowerpower

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 9:49 am

That's crazy, op! I am so not impressed by those teachers! I would still send something since its different teachers and they are teaching your kids. Our teachers always send home a thank you card.

Chayalle

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 11:30 am

Cookies n Cream wrote:

I always gift teachers and have always received either a thank you note, or a verbal thanks.

Me too. I've gotten notes, phone calls, etc...I'm shocked at your experience OP.

here2chill

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 12:23 pm

Op would you mind sharing with us what the gifts were? Maybe that would shed some light. That being said, it doesn't really matter how much you like the gift received, like it or not- you gotta say thank you! Definitely weird teachers

groisamomma

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 12:26 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Cookies n Cream wrote:

I always gift teachers and have always received either a thank you note, or a verbal thanks.

Me too. I've gotten notes, phone calls, etc...I'm shocked at your experience OP.

Same here. I wonder if it's something at the school Smile

Beyla

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 12:37 pm

As a teacher I always thank the parents who give me a gift. But they always gave me their gifts directly in hands, maybe because I teach in Gan.

I have to say it's always nice to get something, it shows so much their appreciation, something they usually don't show everyday when coming to school.

I suggest you give your gifts and cards directly to the teachers?

FranticFrummie

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 12:54 pm

Lady Godiva wrote:

We don't give to get a thank-you.
Some years some teachers write or print thank-you cards, and other years no teachers do.
If you will feel resentful, don't give anything, or give only what you feel complete parting with.

I agree with this. I think it's all very cultural, and depends on how you were raised. I was raised to give for the joy of giving, and to never expect anything in return. If a thank you comes, it's a bonus, not the goal.

I'm sure if the child hands the gift directly to the teacher, that the child is getting a warm thank you and a big smile. That's all the thanks I would expect.

That said, if anyone wants to send me cash, I will personally send a hand made thank you card, with a handwritten note telling you exactly how special you are to me, and how much I value our friendship! Hug

here2chill

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 12:54 pm

rosarosa wrote:

I suggest you give your gifts and cards directly to the teachers?

Exactly! You say you meet them every day. Don't know why no one thought of it earlier.

amother

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 2:57 pm

amother wrote:

Look at it this way:

Your gift is a thank you to them for being a dedicated teacher. They can thank you for your thank you. But then what? You'll thank them for thanking you?

Oh c'mon! You don't say thank you when they say thank you. You say something along the lines of ' sure my pleasure' etc. I totally get what op is saying. The teachers are rude. Point blank

greenfire

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 3:00 pm

perhaps the teacher wrote a general thank-you to the entire class & sent it home erev shabbos in the parsha sheet ... or before chanuka vacation & it got lost in the kid's briefcase ...

some teachers might actually do that so that the kids whose parents did not give anything won't notice & feel badly

myself

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 3:25 pm

here2chill wrote:

rosarosa wrote:

I suggest you give your gifts and cards directly to the teachers?

Exactly! You say you meet them every day. Don't know why no one thought of it earlier.

My thought exactly. Hand it over when you're in school.
I find it very weird that not even one teacher thanked you over the years! Remember though, that your child is benefiting from the gift giving so there's really no point stopping... Hopefully your gift will be acknowledged this year.

amother

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 4:13 pm

myself wrote:

here2chill wrote:

rosarosa wrote:

I suggest you give your gifts and cards directly to the teachers?

Exactly! You say you meet them every day. Don't know why no one thought of it earlier.

Just curious on people's thoughts...

If I hand teacher a potted plant and she says thank you, it's obvious that she is thanking me for giving her the plant. Exchange complete. Done. Nice. Sufficient.

But what if I hand her an envelope and she says thank you when I hand it to her. At that time she has no idea what I'm giving her. Might be just a card. Might be just a $5 or $10 Starbucks gift card. Or might be a $75 gc for Macys. Or a cg for a day of spa services worth $200+. You still think the teacher saying thank you as I hand her the envelope is a sufficient thank you regardless of what is inside?

myself

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 5:00 pm

Of course, depending on the gift, a follow up thank you is usually appropriate, but not mandatory. At least you'll know the teacher definitely knows the gift is from you and you'll have received at least some form of recognition for your gift. Also, if you've personally handed it over, they are more likely to feel like they owe you another thank you.

studying_torah

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 8:30 pm

I used to spend hours creating beautiful hand made thank you cards for my kids teachers, with very personalized and heartfelt messages. This was in addition to giving money to the class mother to join in w/ the class gift. I never got any thank you, so I stopped. I always heard and read that teachers appreciate the cards and thank you letters much more than the gifts, but it sure didn't seem that way here.

greenfire

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 9:02 pm

amother wrote:

Might be just a $5 or $10 Starbucks gift card. Or might be a $75 gc for Macys. Or a cg for a day of spa services worth $200+.

are any of these gift cards something she would actually benefit from ... some people would absolutely abhor a day at the spa - regardless of cost ...

get me ice cream & I'll thank you profusely

phillymom

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 9:59 pm

You can also be super passive aggressive and as you see them when you pass (within a few days of your giving the gift)say something like, "I just wanted to make sure you received the gift. We are so appreciative of all you do!"
again, this would only work if you send the gift through someone (which I''m assuming you do) and you don't mind being passive aggressive and groveling a bit, for thanks.
Sometimes it's worth it....only you can know.

rachelbg

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 10:59 pm

A friend of mine who has taught for many years taught me this trick: Leave a pack of thank you notes in your desk so that at any time you can take one out, write the appropriate message, and send it home with the child- same day!!

groisamomma

Mon, Nov 18 2013, 11:25 pm

rachelbg wrote:

I do that around holiday time because I know I'll forget once winter break is over. I also email a thank you just in case the envelope doesn't make it home with the child.

Raisin

Tue, Nov 19 2013, 3:52 am

I give teachers gifts (I spend in the $20-30 range) and if I see them afterwards they will thank me but they will never send a note, and I wouldn't expect one. To be honest I never keep tabs on that type of stuff. Not sure about you OP but I have about a million other things to do in the day then remember which teacher thanked me for a chanukah gift and which teacher didn't.

This is different than a baby gift - you are primarily thanking the teacher and including a gift, so it could be the teacher does not realize it is expected.

not giving a verbal thank you if they see you is weird though.

IMO if you think the teacher is doing a good job and is a dedicated teacher carry on giving.