modeling good behaviors vs. honoring dh

amother

Tue, Dec 31 2013, 9:15 pm

I believe that part of parenting is to model the behaviors we want our children to have. For example, always say please and thank you and the kids will hopefully pick up. I don't think this is the only part but I just wanted to explain what I meant about modeling.

Now when it comes to dinner, I bring/serve my dh his dinner, and I clean up his plate. I dont do this because he is incapable, and if I asked him to do it he would. I do it because it's a small way I can show Kavod for him, plus it shows the kids that I am giving him Kavod. I also think its a nice thing for a wife to do for their dh (dont worry my dh is not lazy or someone who says "serve me", he helps a lot with the kids, house, etc.).

Tonight my son left the table and a minute later my dh said "are you done your dinner" and my son answered "yes" and my dh said "oh I didnt realize cause your plate is still at the table" (not sarcastic, just matter of fact, this is a Love and Logic method). My son immediately came to the table and took his plate to the kitchen/garbage. About 5 minutes later my dh finished his dinner, and got up and left the table.

It hit me then, are my kids learning from his behavior thinking it's okay to leave the table without clearing your plate (if that is what aba does then I can too! someone will clean up after aba, so someone will clean up after me).

Do I ask my dh to start cleaning his own plate from the table? Do I simply explain to my kids why their father doesnt do what we expect of them (they are old enough to understand such an explanation)?