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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Mon, Jan 06 2014, 2:39 pm
I'm at loss. I have two kids; both have their qualities and are cute in their own right but, here comes the BUT; one child is always happy doesn't matter what happens. He will always forgive and smile, while the other one is complaining MOST of the time. He will never show when he is happy or grateful. Whenever there is a reason to complain he will do so or even when there isn't.
I'm not comparing but it's just so hard when you have a sunshine and a rain at home.
Automatically I will reprimand the one who is complaining more often then the other one becuz there is hardly an occasion I can get angry at him.
So this leads to more complaining...
What can I do to make my other child happy? And stop this negative cycle??
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bubbebia
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Mon, Jan 06 2014, 2:46 pm
Stop comparing them. That may be half the problem. He may feel that he can't compare to his sibling so this is how he gets attention. And negative attention is better than no attention. Instead try saying something like, "When you kvetch at me it makes me not want to do things for you or even to be around you. Maybe you could try talking to me in a nicer way and I will be more likely to help or do things for you". And as soon as he changes his tone of voice respond immediately in a positive way--"When you talk to me in such a nice way I am always happy to help you". It's going to take a lot of tongue biting and word swallowing on your part but it does work though it takes some time until they begin to really process it.
Good luck.
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