how do you enjoy shabbos with little kids?

wantavaca

Sun, Jan 26 2014, 4:56 pm

shabbos morning I usually sleep in a little and let the kids play on their own-it took a while but I have trained them to let me sleep and not bother me then.
then I get up and have a special shabbos breakfast with them-cake/chocolate milk etc...
then I read them books or I read while they play with their magna tiles...
and then we all clean up/make beds and get dressed for shul.
we have company sometimes for the meal. if not, I have a ticket system where I give out tickets event few minutes to whoever is not talking loud/ being wild at the table. they cash in their tickets by dessert for candies.
afternoon me and dh and baby nap. bigger ones play on their own or nap too if they want.
when we wake up shabbos is basically almost over.
in the summer, I usually visit a friend with them.

there have been better shabbosim and worse...but im working on it to make it nicer and calmer.

mandksima

Mon, Jan 27 2014, 1:50 am

sped wrote:

I think lots of parents would love that.This is what is called changing expectations.It isn't going to happen like that. I have times that I feel I really need that. I get up in middle of the night and read and nosh on the couch for for some time. You have to decide if it's worth giving up on sleep.

I also give up on extra sleep just to have quiet time late at night. Sometimes, I'll go to sleep with the kids early and wake up after a few hours, be up a few hours and then go back to sleep till morning.

No matter what I feel Shabbos is the hardest day with little kids (and older difficult kids) and I try not to schedule too much on a Sunday as I usually need a recouperation day! I actually am considering inviting company more often even though it is more work for me because the kids behave better and have something to look forward to if they know guests are coming.

tovasara

Mon, Jan 27 2014, 7:33 am

I didn't read everyone's replies so forgive me if I am repeating.

When my children were young Shabbos was also very hard. Perhaps find a teenager or two to come play with them -either in the afternoon so you and your husband can sleep, or in the morning so you can have a break then so you can be more refreshed in the afternoon.

Can he alter his davening schedule? perhaps daven early and be home more?

It's not easy. (but gets easier)

sky

Mon, Jan 27 2014, 7:58 am

- Get my kids to sleep at their regular time Friday night so they are much less kvetchy shabbos day (at least up to age 5)
- Feed them before the meals and don't worry about their food during the shabbos meal. This way they are happy and fed already before kiddush and and I'm not pressured to get them to eat.
- Shabbos morning is very relaxed. Stay in our PJs for a long time. Shabbos cereal for breakfast. If dh is coming home later then 10:00 I"ll make a kiddush in the house. Everyone will get grape juice and a piece of a special cake or cookie.
- Also if DH is coming home after 10:00, closer to 12:00 I'll sometimes go to a neighbor or invite someone over to kill some time and spend time with another adult.
- Give everyone jobs (with treats as prizes). Set the table (even my 2 year old can help), clean up the toys, help make salad (starting at age 5), take out bowls and dishes.
- Try to do as much shabbos prep before shabbos so I'm not pressured before the meal (I.e. salads) .
- Keep the meal quick and pleasant (once my kids hit about 4 or 5 I found having a few stories on hand to tell quickly kept everyone too entertained to make trouble)
- sing children shabbos songs instead of zemiros.
- I don't really sleep shabbos afternoon but when I do DH and I split the afternoon in half.
- No matter how cold it is I try to get out for even a little, I find the fresh air refreshes me. When I have a baby that cannot go out without the eruv I will try to schedule naps (if possible) for a time when dh is home and I can go out with everyone else, just to save our sanity.

chocolate chips

Mon, Jan 27 2014, 8:09 am

I totally get where you are coming from.
I love summer friday nights simply because ds goes to sleep regular time and we can have a nice quiet meal. But winter shabbos days b/c they are shorter.

But as with all things I kind of learnt how to relax/give in a little on Shabbos if I want to keep my sanity and get some rest.
It definitely is easier than my ds is still young and the only one at home but shabbos afternoon he goes for a nap when we do and I let him sleep as long as he does. This way we get to sleep too.
If he doesn't sleep (sometimes he sleeps in the am when dh is in shul so I do too) then he plays in our room while we sleep.
I forgive the mess and let him basically roam free. I lock up the bathroom and kitchen and he has his room and the hallway to play with and my room while I lay in bed.
It really works.
I also give him special treats so breakfast will be yoghurt and potato crisps as oppose to cereal and milk. Also because he can eat that in my room so I don't have to sit at the table with him.

There are always those weeks that don't go so smoothly and all I want to do is send him with my dh to shul but then I just go to bed extra early on motze shabbos to catch up my sleep and dh deals with him if he isn't asleep yet.

Willow43

Mon, Jan 27 2014, 2:36 pm

I also find winter shabbosim really boring with my kids since we cant leave the house. Also with internet and media/electronics taking such a huge part of our weekdays, I find shabbos I miss it. Although the one day detox is good for me. As far as kids go mine are BH easygoing, so meals are ok, but they get bored easily so keeping them entertained all shabbos is my personal challenge. when the weather is nice we go on walks and go to the park etc, but winters are hard.
Also my husband sleeps alot on shabbos (he works crazy hours, so I cant blame him when he conks out and cant move most of shabbos) so im left with most of the burden of entertaining.
Even though its not easy, I remember the days before I had kids and wished I had these "problems". BH for this and not a problem of having too much time to relax, due to an empty house. (that was worse than this, trust me)

rachelbg

Mon, Jan 27 2014, 9:04 pm

We have little ones (the under 2.5 realm).

I supervise free-playing, then we do circle time like my oldest does in play group. We take out special toys that we only use on Shabbos. I do hakafos every Shabbos with the play-Torah, since that's what they think happens on Shabbos (welcome to 'toddlers only come to shul on Simchas Torah' world.) Everyone helps set the table. Then we invite other neighbors in the building to come over and play.

In the afternoon we always try for a 'family nap,' but when that doesn't happen, dh and I take turns with the kids and with napping, or we all go outside together to play.