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-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Pesach
YALT
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Sat, Mar 24 2007, 9:12 pm
This is what I was told last Pesach:
Every bechor fasts erev Pesach. We (Lubavitch) holds to make a siyum in order to have a seudas mitzvah, in order to eat.
A father fasts for the oldest son until bar mitzvah. If a father is a bechor, the mother fasts for the oldest son, as the father is already fasting for himself.
My father just told me that when my oldest sister was born, he was told that he has to fast for her as well - because the whole inyan is bec. of macas bechoros - which killed out all firstborns - no matter what (even included firstborn from any mother or any father (even if mother's 2nd child, but first w/ this husband)
Now my questions:
1) Does a/o out there know of this? Do BechorAHs (girls) fast after Bas mitzvah?
2) Does a/o fast for their oldest son, bec. DH is bechor?
Do you go to siyum? (according to Chabad minhag please!)
I looked in Shevach Hamo'adim, and it doesn't say that women fast.
I looked in Alter Rebbe's shulchan aruch and it says we do.
I know we don't always go according to Alter Rebbe's. But I don't know which we do in this situation.
I can't reach a rav.
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gryp
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Sat, Mar 24 2007, 9:42 pm
I never heard of fasting for first-born girls, and I never heard of women fasting.
My husband has to fast for our bechor, but he goes to a siyum so he doesn't have to.
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ny21
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Sat, Mar 24 2007, 9:43 pm
I never heard of women fasting either.
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Mommy3.5
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Sat, Mar 24 2007, 10:08 pm
Just cuase you never heard of girls fasting, doesn't mean they don't. My father went to a siyum every erev peasach for me, (he is not a bechor.) Many hold that since all firstborns were killed in macat bechorot, regardless of gender, all Bechor/bechora's must fast.
Also< It is not a Lubavich thing to have a siyum for taanis bechorot, everyone does it.
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chocolate moose
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Sat, Mar 24 2007, 11:43 pm
I have heard it discussed about girls/women fasting, but never saw it practically done.
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NotInNJMommy
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Sat, Mar 24 2007, 11:54 pm
I've seen it discussed in seforim, but I asked our lubvavitch rav if a)my son was a bechor (bc he was C section) and b) since dh is a bechor, then if ds is also, do I have to fast....
He didn't give an answer to the first question, but he answered the second question that a woman wouldn't fast.
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Marion
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Sun, Mar 25 2007, 2:46 am
My DH is a bechor. He is fervently trying to get through his mishnayot this week, so that he doesn't have to fast, either for himself or for our son. I am a bechora, and was never taught that it applied also to girls. AFAIK, firstborn GIRLS were not killed in the plague.
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YALT
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Sun, Mar 25 2007, 6:15 pm
Quote: | I've seen it discussed in seforim, but I asked our lubvavitch rav if a)my son was a bechor (bc he was C section) and b) since dh is a bechor, then if ds is also, do I have to fast....
He didn't give an answer to the first question, but he answered the second question that a woman wouldn't fast. |
NJMommy,
About c/s - I have the same issue. And that I was already told - it depends for what. In some cases, he is not considered bechor (ex: Pidyon Haben) but in other situations, he's still considered a bechor (Like in this situation). Therefore, he would need to fast, and a parent for him until bar mitzvah.
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NotInNJMommy
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Sun, Mar 25 2007, 6:57 pm
Well, I was told that even if he is a bechor, I do not fast for him. DH is already fasting for himself. Maybe different rabbonim rule differently on women fasting for their sons.
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BrachaVHatzlocha
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Sun, Mar 25 2007, 7:05 pm
we've had this shaila - I forgot the answer! I think I was nursing, so I was told not to fast.
My husband is a sefek b'chor (possible b'chor - because his mother had a miscarriage before him) so he fasts.
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gryp
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Sun, Mar 25 2007, 9:02 pm
YALT- look again in the Alter Rebbe's Shulchan Aruch. It says:
A) There is an opinion that girls fast, but we do not do that.
B) If the husband is a b'chor, the woman should fast for her b'chor (son), but she does not have to if it causes her any type of tza'ar- a small tza'a'r is enough to be a tza'ar- or nursing or pregnant. If a woman fasted once, she has to have a heter not to fast again.
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Ruchel
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Mon, Mar 26 2007, 11:03 am
I don't fast. I've read about women fasting but never seen it done. I've also never seen women fasting for their first born, only guys.
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mimsy7420
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Mon, Mar 26 2007, 11:11 am
That's weird, I thought only first born males were killed in the plague. I never heard of girls fasting.
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shopaholic
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Mon, Mar 26 2007, 11:28 am
DH is a bechor. He goes to a siyum in shul so he doesn't fast & DS started going with him last year when he was almost 6.
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YALT
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Mon, Mar 26 2007, 9:27 pm
Quote: | YALT- look again in the Alter Rebbe's Shulchan Aruch. It says:
A) There is an opinion that girls fast, but we do not do that.
B) If the husband is a b'chor, the woman should fast for her b'chor (son), but she does not have to if it causes her any type of tza'ar- a small tza'a'r is enough to be a tza'ar- or nursing or pregnant. If a woman fasted once, she has to have a heter not to fast again. |
GR,
I'm sorry, I forgot to include that part. But I didn't really think it was relevant.
I'm not pregnant nor nursing.
Is being hungry enough of a tza'ar to not have to fast? I mean, the idea of a fast isn't just until you get hungry.
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gryp
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 11:30 am
I'm obviously not a Rav, Yalt, I could just read and translate. The Alter Rebbe seems to be saying that any kind of slight tza'ar is a good enough reason not to fast. Ask a Rav what that means.
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chocolate moose
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Tue, Mar 27 2007, 4:46 pm
The Rebbe used to fast. One time DH didn't have a siyum and fasted also.
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