Kids helping at home

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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lotte

Sat, Jan 27 2007, 9:56 pm

My kids do not help alot and when I tell them to do something they open their eyes and ask:Do I have to?
Please tell me at what age your children started helping you and what kind of "stuff" can you give them

Mitzvahmom

Sat, Jan 27 2007, 10:12 pm

teneleven wrote:

My 6 year old clear the table.. I give all of my kids monitary, like .25 a week. Sometimes more if he remembers to do it without me asking.

They all have to clean up their toys and keep their rooms "neat."

My daughter 8, when she does not have a ton of homework, washes the dishes and begs to vacume or sweep.

withhumor

Sat, Jan 27 2007, 10:24 pm

My kids started making their beds at about age 2! I read in a book that if you compliment and never fix the bed, they will become confident and continue to make it, to perfection eventually. B”H today, they make the beds nicer than me and it’s such a nachas.

They are also responsible for clearing the shabbos table exclusively! My dh and do not do a thing on shabbos. On weekdays, if there’s time, I ask them to clear the table after a meal.

Toys is something I was never matzliach, I gave up along time ago. When it gets out of hand, I sweep the hurricane to a corner and tell them that I will count to 200. Whatever’s still on the floor goes to the ‘poor people’. I then put everything into a garbage back (they cry!) and when they sleep, I pack it into place myself. DUH!

I also have easy hanging hooks in the closet, they are expected to hang up their coats and pack away their briefcases. If they don’t, I don’t move it. Also, whatever laundry doesn’t make it to the hamper doesn’t get washed. When they don’t have what to wear and they have to wear the stuff from the floor (once or twice) it penetrates!

chocolate moose

Sat, Jan 27 2007, 10:32 pm

10, it's easier if they have set jobs. Not favors that you dole out when you see them walk by.

I hate when ppl in my office give out "favors" like Tirck or Treat candy, lehavdil.

withhumor

Sat, Jan 27 2007, 10:39 pm

Actually, one of my children just won’t get it right. She will always take her time when I ask her ‘please bring me a tissue’ and then show up with like half a torn one or a used one, after 10 minutes’. I was advised by a very smart person that for a child like this, asking them for ‘favors’ very small ones, will train them to get it right, eventually.

amother

Wed, Apr 25 2007, 9:52 pm

My kids have to do a lot because I am just not able.

My two year old can clean up all her toys and put in the correct bins. She can make her bed (not very well, but it's a learning process,) and she can pick up garbage and throw it away.

My four year old can put away the laundry in the correct drawer, clean up toys, put dirty laundry in baskets, sweep the floor and put backbacks away.

My six year old helps serve breakfast and throw away the dishes, make her bed, shpritz/wipe the table, take dirty diapers outside (she puts them just near the front door and DH puts them in the bin when he comes home,) sets the table Friday night, sometimes gives the two year old a bath.

I try not to give bribes, but I tell my kids, the more grown-up jobs they do, the more I can treat them as big kids. So if my son wants to take a toy to school I would say something like well usually I don't let bringing toys to school, but you are showing me that you are responsible and doing all the jobs Mommy asked like a big boy. I know you will be able to take good care of your toy and bring it back this afternoon.

The baby just likes to do what her siblings are doing, so when they're helping she looks around for jobs to do as well, it is so cute.

I have some guilt that I make my kids do too much, but they don't complain, and they are so proud of themselves.

Ima'la

Thu, Apr 26 2007, 12:00 am

Don't have guilt, amother - that sounds great!

My kids (6, 4) help set the table for Shabbos...sometimes I ask them on weekdays. 6 serves the fish on Shabbos and I sit at the table. She asks to help serve the rest of the meal s/t, but she can't carry hot things.

They clean up their toys, and if they do it themselves without my standing over them and prodding/telling each of them what to put away, then I give them a small treat.

On erev Shabbos, they collect all the garbage from the wastebaskets around the house and replace the garbage bags. (Not the big kitchen garbage or the big diaper garbage.) We have racks that hold about 6 rolls of toilet paper in each bathroom, for when one runs out, and 4 refills it on erev Shabbos. DH was really the one who got them started with "get ready for Shabbos" jobs. They've been doing that for a year or 2 already. Also, from age 2 or 3, they make their beds each morning.

6 loves to do dishes. Not so helpful yet, but hopefully one day it will be. Both love to help me cook - also not so helpful at this point. But 6 makes her sandwich for gan in the morning - that is helpful.

I think it's easier when you train them from a young age. It might be harder if they're already used to not helping.

Last edited by Ima'la on Thu, Apr 26 2007, 1:01 am; edited 1 time in total

BeershevaBubby

Thu, Apr 26 2007, 12:10 am

I also started my girls young... 'setting' the table - I'd hand them silverware and they'd put it on the table. Putting away their own toys was always very important.

When they started reading, I gave them basic cake recipes to make (from scrath) for Shabbat.

As they got older, the chores became bigger.

I fully intend to do the same with our expected Nes, who is due to make an appearance in just 27 days!!

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