Secrets of the "put-together" woman

Sherri

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:34 pm

amother wrote:

Don't take the advice on that website too literally. Tucking in only one side of a shirt is almost as charming as leaving one shoulder of your bib overalls unfastened, which was all the rage a few years back. Adorable on a three-year-old, reminding us that while she's learned and mastered many new skills, she's still a baby, but by the time you're old enough to cross the street by yourself, you should know how to complete the process of dressing yourself, too. Unless of course you're from one of those places in the back hills where people have been marrying their double first cousins for too many generations.

This woman is known for writing a minimalist fashion blog and many have been inspired by her to try a capsule wardrobe. Take it or leave it. Idea

PinkFridge

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:39 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

I guess I realized what the biggest issue is -- I like wearing long skirts. It's SO much easier to stay properly covered up when getting on the floor with my kids and in and out of the car, etc. But long skirts don't have the same put together look as right below the knee ones do.

Not that I'm anyone's fashion paradigm, but I'm an unrepentant long skirt person.
And also a comfortable skirt person. I was in an OOT (by which I mean, not in my town, might have been in town) frum store and tried on a dress skirt and first thing I did was sit down in it to be sure it wouldn't stress the lining. The saleslady smiled and said that I have to get used to wearing real clothes again Tongue Out

amother

Hotpink

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:47 pm

amother wrote:

https://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/shoes/espadrilles/PRDOVR~C1320/C1320.jsp

25% off and comes in a few colors

love these. anything like that with a 1-2" wedge?

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:59 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Not only split the lining, but I've ripped up seams in pleats to the point that they're not really pleats anymore Sad

amother

Violet

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:19 pm

amother wrote:

love these. anything like that with a 1-2" wedge?

If you're ok with a platform instead of a wedge you have a lot of options. They're very stylish now and you can find them everywhere for wide range of prices. Something like this

http://www1.bloomingdales.com/.....3D217

fyi they aren't very comfortable if you're on your feet all day because your foot is on a very flat surface. It's like walking on the floor. But they look very good

amother

Oak

Fri, May 08 2015, 8:26 am

Honestly op, take all this advice with a grain of salt. Put together means different things based in your age body type and community.
I'm reading some of this advice thinking I would look totally frumpy in that.
What looks put together on my mom (60 ish) is not what I (30ish) wear.

I wear a longish sheital big sunglasses no lipstick just a slick of lip gloss some tinted moisturizer eyeliner mascara and swipe of bronzer. On a beautiful spring day I am wearing a maxi dress with a long cardigan over and espadrilles. With an amazing belt.
My mom doesn't leave the house without her lips lined ( I don't even own lip liner) and. Her trusty Chanel lipstick. She wears more stuff on her face (base not sure what else. But she looks great) her sheital is more shorter tailored bob style. Her sunglasses are very classic shape
And I can imagine her wearing a nice pair of shoes with smallish heel very good make. Stockings tailored skirt with beautiful silk or springy feel shell ( not like a Frum shell from a frum store rather a beatiful sleeveless top with s high neck ) and a light cardigan over. If the neckline is simple she probably wearing a beautiful scarf. And she has amazing quality bags (some of them I remeber from when I was a little girl ) my bag on the other hand was $50 from TOPSHOP.

We would look silly in each other's outfits. But I think we look okay.
Also jewelry I'm wearing some long dangly earrings. My mom is wearing her pearls. She's supper chic and classic, I'm younger, poorer ( Wink

) and have trendier cheaper pieces.
fashion is not one size fit all AT ALL!

Ruchel

Fri, May 08 2015, 9:19 am

Definitely not a one size fit all...

I see those young girls in suits and loafers and pearls and I wonder, huh? Because I'm not from their world.

Liebs

Fri, May 08 2015, 9:21 am

In my community wear most wear wigs but at times tichels too-
put together = shaitel and a makeup (not tons, even just eye liner and lipgloss)
I do think nice hair/wig makes people look put together no matter what they are wearing.
People usually notice the face.

fmt4

Fri, May 08 2015, 9:31 am

I happen to think that when people wear tons of makeup and a fancy sheitel but their outfits look thrown together it looks very odd. Your wig and makeup should match your outfit.

dancingqueen

Fri, May 08 2015, 9:38 am

I think wearing a sheitel is a huge leg up on looking put together because having nice hair is a huge part of looking good. Hygiene and grooming is another big factor.

Once you have that, if you don't have a flair for what looks good together then it's a good idea to pare down your closet to only some basics that really fit you well. Keep your wardrobe simple- a solid colored top with a black skirt and shoes are always going to be fine. Or if you want to expand to some prints just keep the other piece solid so you are safe.

fmt4

Fri, May 08 2015, 10:25 am

But nice hair and a fancy "done" wig are two very different things. In the non hair covering world, a woman's hair could be clean and shiny and beautiful but still look casual and look normal when she's wearing a casual outfit like jeans and a tee shirt. But in the frum world, women often wear their wigs all done up and curly and blown with a long black skirt and a tee and that looks bizarre. No one in the regular world would get their hair all fancy like for a wedding and then wear jeans with it. It looks very off. Instead of making them look put together, it highlights how much their clothes don't match up to their wig.

spring13

Fri, May 08 2015, 1:20 pm

I was also going to suggest the capsule wardrobe thing, especially for work clothes: it makes a lot of sense for someone who doesn't enjoy the process of creating outfits every day. Basically, you buy about 9 tops and 5 bottoms and just make sure they're things you REALLY like and will actually want to wear frequently. Reducing decision fatigue in this area will make you more confident about the whole thing. In general, keep your range of choices simple, so that it takes less effort to put things together: if this means you end up wearing a lot of solid colored clothing, that's ok - just have them be nice pieces in flattering colors.

I'm toying with the idea of buying 6 or so simple work-appropriate dresses and chucking the rest of my current business casual wardrobe (except maybe a few cardigans). Dresses do help cut down on the amount of work that goes into an outfit, because there's no fuss over mixing and matching. I'm a fan of eshakti.com, where you can get things customized to your measurements and some of your style needs (ie: longer skirts/sleeves). They have lots of shirtdresses and other work-friendly styles.

I'm short, short-waisted, and curvy with a mummy tummy. I think I look reasonably business casual and stylish in a dark colored heavyweight knit pencil skirt and an open cardigan over a short sleeve top (with or without a shell, as needed). I try to go for printed tops to add color because I don't like to accessorize too much for work (although I wear a band fall, so I can play with that if I feel like it). I wear flats or low wedges to work because A. comfy and B. I'm 4'11", nothing's going to adjust my height to average level anyway. Might as well embrace it. My makeup routine is BB cream and lip gloss (if that - that's one area where I could try harder if I wanted to). I try to plan my outfit the night before, my mornings are definitely easier when I've got that already in my head.

Keep a small pouch in your purse with lip gloss, some bobby pins, a ponytail holder, tissues/wipes, and one of those foldup hair brushes. Then you can repair your appearance anywhere without having to dig through your big bag for anything.

I have a nice dark denim pencil skirt, plus a few of the knit ones from Kosher Casual. You can get layering-friendly cardigans anywhere these days. I like NY and Company, ann Taylor LOFT, and Land's End for tops - they have nice prints and mostly reasonable cuts (plus a decent range of sizes for petite curvy me).

ETA: I'm not the height of fashion, but I also don't feel bad about my appearance this way. I found a balance among the needs to look fashionable and work-appropriate, be reasonably comfortable, and not have a long morning routine. I have a natural, low-key style when it comes to my day-to-day appearance, so I don't think people are questioning my lack of makeup or excessively posh clothing.

Last edited by spring13 on Fri, May 08 2015, 2:05 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Babypink

Fri, May 08 2015, 1:36 pm

Maya wrote:

A more dressed up look of heels, blazers or scarves is just a matter of style and taste. I'm 30 and have been dressing like that for years. I also have a more casual look of bright long skirts with crew neck sweaters and such, but I prefer dressing up.

Now I'm wearing a lot of dresses with blazers or cardigans because they flatter my fuller figure more, but I wear heels and wedges when I can.

[quote]

Maya, if u dont mind, can u post were u pick up these dresses, blazers, cardigans....?

Looking for those and cant seem to find.

Thanks