I live in the middle of nowhere - ask me anything!

amother

Fri, Apr 26 2013, 5:59 am

amother wrote:

People's definitions of middle of nowhere a funny. If there is a shul and there are frum families, and even a school, you are somewhere IMO.

My nowhere meant: no shul, no frum families, barely any Jews, the closest Reform synagogue 45 minutes away from my town, and the closest mikveh at least 2 hours away. The closest community was more like 3 hours. Oh, and no stores beyond Walmart and grocery stores, a target, and an hour or so to clothing stores. Tiny town. To much going on, but not the joy of truly rural life.

We had it much better when we lived in an area with some Jews and a non frum non orthodox Jewish community. But that was a normal area, with chabad and an orthodox shul with a couple of families.

Not having restaurants and having a community with non shomer shabbos families is how many families live and many communities don't have restaurants. Even places with schools and a yeshiva and two or three or more big shuls often don't have a restaurant.

OP here.

Why aren't you still living in THAT middle of nowhere? that type of place is just not sustainable for anyone long term, especially with kids. I am living here long term, not just for a year or two or three. there are young frum families who live in my community and love it. But as soon as their kids hit 8-12 they realize they need to be in a frum enviroment. (my kids also need to, that's why we send them away)

I don't know why someone would live in such a place as you are describing, I assume it is for some sort of goal connected with your or your husbands career.

When I say the middle of nowhere, I mean Jewish wise, specifically frum Jewish wise. But even many not frum families from my city have relocated since they want their kids to have more then 2 Jewish friends of their age group. ( I don't want to give too many details about the school but not every student in it is Jewish, especially in the higher grades) My daughter has 2 Jewish friends. I just heard yesterday that one of them is moving away at the end of this year.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Jan 17 2016, 5:14 pm

I never lived in the middle of nowhere but I did live 40 minutes from a frum community, no kosher grocery, no mikvah unless one chose to drive hours and certainly no Jewish school. I didn't find it necessary to send my kids away, our public school was academically sound and we supplemented with Jewish tutoring. The kids did fine, none are watching [filth] on friday night while eating cheeseburgers.

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Jan 17 2016, 6:02 pm

DH and I have considered moving to a real small town way out - no shul, no Mikvah, no kosher food....

When we visited we loved the slower pace of life the lower cost of living and felt like the overall values, while not Jewish, were in many ways more in line with how we want to raise our kids. No emphasis on looks, money, fashion or keeping up with the joneses.

We are really tired of those aspects of bigger town communities. We haven't moved to the small town but probably would if there were 4 or 5 other frum or even frum-ish families there too to daven and have some Jewish community. It's a really appealing small town atmosphere.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Jan 17 2016, 6:40 pm

You can get that small town feel in smaller jewish communities without sacrificing the basics. They'e usually not really rural though - but they are small towns near small cities that are very down to earth. I live in St. Louis. Materialism is basically nonexistent here in the MO crowd.The Agudah crowd might be a bit more so - but I say that only from afar, based on clothing and stuff.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Jan 17 2016, 6:44 pm

amother wrote:

From my experience it would be difficult for most families. Living rurally means that one has to find community in a diverse population as small as it may be. TBS I don't regret our choices to eschew the materialism and live rurally. I'd do it all over again.