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-> Parenting our children
amother
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Wed, May 25 2016, 7:53 pm
My very happy, well-adjusted daughter, when we are home, asks for a hug every five minutes. I really do give her lots of time and attention, but she seems to need more. I am not naturally a touchy person, though I am physically affectionate with my kids. The constant hugging, hand holding and trying to climb into my lap is starting to make me a little crazy. What do I do? I'm not going to say no to her if she needs a hug every five minutes, but still.....and no, I don't have a large family - just 2 kids.
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amother
Teal
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Wed, May 25 2016, 9:17 pm
It can be a sensory thing. For someone who is hyposensory, it takes more to feel what an average person does. Don't reject her hugs even if they are annoying, it will be very hurtful to her. See and OT and see where that gets you
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observer
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Wed, May 25 2016, 10:13 pm
I wouldn't describe that as clingy, but rather craving physical affection. Very different.
It does sound like sensory, I had posted a whole list of ideas a while back but don't have time right now. Maybe tomorrow I will try to dig it up.
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Dolly Welsh
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Thu, May 26 2016, 2:05 am
What's up with the other child? What's up with their relationship?
Is someone in her school life or babysitting life rather cuddle-y?
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5*Mom
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Thu, May 26 2016, 2:40 am
Has she always been like this or is this something new?
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Iymnok
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Thu, May 26 2016, 3:11 am
If she's sensory, a weighted blanket would help.
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Chayalle
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Thu, May 26 2016, 9:19 am
amother wrote: | My very happy, well-adjusted daughter, when we are home, asks for a hug every five minutes. I really do give her lots of time and attention, but she seems to need more. I am not naturally a touchy person, though I am physically affectionate with my kids. The constant hugging, hand holding and trying to climb into my lap is starting to make me a little crazy. What do I do? I'm not going to say no to her if she needs a hug every five minutes, but still.....and no, I don't have a large family - just 2 kids. |
I could've written this post, except my daughter is 8. She could spend the day hugging me, climbing all over me, etc....I had her evaluated for sensory issues and was shocked to get a negative on that. I guess maybe she's not sensory enough! It seems to me that with my daughter some of it is an impulsive need to keep getting whatever it is that makes her feel good (she tries to get lots of candy and prizes too, all the time.)
Though I'm big on giving lots of love and physical affection, with my daughter I actually set boundaries. We cuddle in the morning and I generally give her a few minutes of massage then - which she loves - and again at night before bedtime. I also give her a big hug when she comes home from school. Except for that I gently remind her that right now Mommy is doing XYZ but we will B"EH hug soon....I end up giving more hugs during the day here and there, but I'm giving her the message that she can self-regulate and control her need for constant physical affection.
Ditto for the candy and prizes - she gets that sometimes, but we set limits.
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Dolly Welsh
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Thu, May 26 2016, 12:04 pm
Has your schedule changed recently?
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FranticFrummie
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Thu, May 26 2016, 1:12 pm
Does she seem anxious at all? "Parenting Your Anxious Child" is a life changing book. DD and I went through a 7 week course of therapy at Children's Hospital. DD went to group therapy, while I went to parenting classes with the other parents of anxious children. It turned our lives around!
Talk to your DD, and see if anything is bothering her. She may have a hidden fear that you're not aware of.
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amother
Bronze
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Thu, May 26 2016, 1:17 pm
FranticFrummie wrote: | Does she seem anxious at all? "Parenting Your Anxious Child" is a life changing book. DD and I went through a 7 week course of therapy at Children's Hospital. DD went to group therapy, while I went to parenting classes with the other parents of anxious children. It turned our lives around!
Talk to your DD, and see if anything is bothering her. She may have a hidden fear that you're not aware of. |
I will, but she truly is the happiest, smiliest, most positive child. Things really seem to roll off her back. Thank G-d! I know she needs putty in class for some mild sensory issues, so I'm thinking its sensory.
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oliveoil
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Thu, May 26 2016, 1:22 pm
Could definitely be sensory.
But also worth considering if she's getting the feeling that it's too much for you, that could be causing her to do it more. I would suggest for a week or so, whenever you hug her, don't be the one to end it. Wait for her to pull away. I would try that for a while, and see if it changes things at all. A friend of mine found this a very useful tool with two of her kids.
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Chayalle
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Thu, May 26 2016, 1:37 pm
amother wrote: | I will, but she truly is the happiest, smiliest, most positive child. Things really seem to roll off her back. Thank G-d! I know she needs putty in class for some mild sensory issues, so I'm thinking its sensory. |
My daughter has an insane amount of putty. Any time she gets a prize putty will be her first choice. I have to check her pockets for it before doing a wash. She uses it everywhere. And yet she failed to show up as sensory on a full profile.
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sneakermom
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Thu, May 26 2016, 2:24 pm
Here are a few possibilities that I would look for:
1. She's anxious
2. Struggles with self regulating
3. Some change in her life.
4. Sensory
5. Boredom
6. A trauma
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