Kids saw my brother drunk

amother

Seashell

Tue, Sep 05 2017, 8:35 am

2 of my kids had a sleepover with my parents last night. My youngest brother is 16 and starting 11th grade today. He went to an end of summer party last night and he was brought home early falling-down drunk and throwing up. My kids were awake to see it. My mom did try to gloss over it (uncle Jakey had something that didn't agree with him and it made him sick) but she called me last night to tell me what my kids saw and that she's not sure the oldest one (age 6) bought her explanation and I should be ready for questions. They are coming home this morning. What should I do? How do I handle this? Also, please don't bash my brother or my parents. My brother doesn't have a substance problem, he is a generally great kid who made a really stupid mistake last night, as we all have done at that age. My dad even said that none of us should give him any ideas for hangover remedies, let him suffer the hangover and it almost certainly never happen again. I certainly don't think my kids need to stay away from him or anything. Just may need to discuss what happened if asked.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Sep 05 2017, 8:58 am

Just tell them what happened. Uncle made a bad mistake. He drank alcohol which is illegal at his age, and now he's suffering the consequences of his actions. I doubt they'll be thinking, "awesome! When I grow up I also want to drink until I puke all over myself."

imasinger

Tue, Sep 05 2017, 9:09 am

Ask them how their sleepover was, and how everyone is doing.

If anyone says anything about your brother, you can field it as it comes up. Mommy3b2c has a great response.

The conversation about"everyone makes mistakes, and that's why Elul is a time to think about teshuvah" is a great one to have.

myself

Tue, Sep 05 2017, 9:11 am

I wouldn't worry all that much about it. Take their lead. If anything, seeing the repercussions might act as a deterrent. It ain't much fun to drink when you feel this awful.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Sep 05 2017, 10:58 am

Thank you! I like what Imasinger said about mistakes in Elul, if my 6 year old asks, that's the direction I'll take it in. I like mommy3b2c's answer, though I think I want to leave legality out of it for now. My kids are very literal, I don't want them thinking their uncle is going to jail or something. Again, my brother is a very good kid who did something incredibly stupid. It happens to the best of us. My mother said he was very, very contrite this morning. The nasty hangover was consequence enough, and he also has accepted the parental consequences without complaint. He knows he messed up and he knows he needs to "do the time" as it were.

Miri7

Tue, Sep 05 2017, 12:21 pm

I'd be honest. Your brother did something stupid (or foolish) and drank too much alcohol. That's what happens when you drink too much alcohol and that's why only grown ups should drink it.

Personally, I think it's good for kids who are entering their teen years to see the ugly side of alcohol consumption as a warning. Though it sounds like yours are pretty young.