Birthdays 6 months apart--need advice

miami85

Sun, Dec 31 2017, 6:48 am

My boys' 7 & 5 have birthdays 6 months apart--one near chanuka, and the other in the summer. They get very jealous of one another when they get presents--as much as I try to talk to them about it etc. For the younger one, he made a request for his birthday present, it wasn't expensive so I got it for him. But then my elder son started "chalishing" for it, so we "rewarded his summer learning" by getting it for him--for the "hype" around it, it wasn't so expensive so it was doable. The older one made a request for his birthday--and it's something rather "cool" on the one hand its something different than what we already have but I know my younger son will probably be very jealous, but getting it for the younger one--he's not old enough for it, and there's not much reason to justify getting it--especially he just got lots of gifts for Chanuka,. I got my younger son a "small something" just to avoid a monster tantrum-but I didn't get anything for my other younger kids (one wouldn't notice, but one likely will--but her birthday is in another month). Any advice on how to deal with these birthdays? They ask me about their next birthday--and its 1/2 a year from now!

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Dec 31 2017, 7:05 am

Definitely a tough situation. Sometimes giving a present to everyone aa a group helps everyone be excited for the birthday. The type of game that needs the siblings to join in together so they can celebrate having each other as they celebrate the birthday.

naomi2

Sun, Dec 31 2017, 7:14 am

You don't need to g et them everything they ask for or everything their sibling has. When you start realizing that it's OK for things to be "unfair" or "uneven" you will have an easier time saying no.

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Dec 31 2017, 7:22 am

naomi2 wrote:

I agree with this.
But it would be nice if they were to 'share' their present with their sibling.
I usually say "this game is Dani's, but when he's done with playing with it, you can ask him if you can have a go for 10 minutes"

amother

White

Sun, Dec 31 2017, 8:09 am

amother wrote:

Agree.
I don't know if it was ok to buy the older one the same present as the younger one. It loses its specialness, it was for my birthday. As the younger child I sometimes felt I got the shorter end of the stick. And sometimes felt she was more special than me.