Forcing kid | Imamother

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 6:31 pm

My son has been toilet trained for 2 years. he's going through this phase where he purposely pees on the floor or on me or on anything. I hold him in front of the toilet and hold hisvarms down and make him stand there so that he'll go. he won't go and he just keeps holding it in and says he doesn't have to go no matter how long I wait. When I let him go, he pees all over me and the floor. Is it wrong to hold down your kid until they actually go on the toilet even if it takes 10 minutes? Timeout and other consequences do not work.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 6:43 pm

Sounds like He needs a potch, unless you don’t believe in that.

Edit: if my son (4 yrs old?) peed on me, you’d better believe there’s be MAJOR consequences - not of the “time out” quality!

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 6:44 pm

My son is having accidents all the time. My husband gets upset when it happens. I just ignore. I let him change himself if he wants to or he can just be wet. I don't care. I'm hoping he will outgrow it at some point.

Laiya

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 6:48 pm

That sounds really frustrating to deal with, but this isn't a battle you can win. There's no way you can force him not to have accidents.

Have you tried having him help you clean the mess? I would be matter of fact about it, use very few words. Don't lecture, just focus on the task of cleaning, don't even mention the accident.

Not a punishment, but cause and effect. When we make a mess, we clean it up. Then he should leave the wet clothing by the washer or whatever, and go take clean clothing from his drawer, all on his own.

Hopefully, if you don't focus on the accidents but make it about him taking care of what's his responsibility, he'll decide that having to clean up messes all the time is too much of a hassle and not worth the benefit (attention from you and winning power struggle).

Hth.

Eta. Also, give plenty of positive attention to progress. If he goes on the toilet, praise him, if he goes a day with no accidents, etc.

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 8:03 pm

Is he maybe doing it to get your attention? The reason I thought of it is because after holding his hands down and after standing at the toilet for 10 minutes, he immediately pees on "you, which was the red flag for me.
If this is the case, try giving him attention for positive things he does, private time, and stop talking about toilet training altogether. He knows what he has to do and how. He'll try to get your attention in this old familiar way, but if you ignore the behavior and provide different forms of attention and positive regard, it should go away after a few more "accidents".