child's needs and husbands presence

Ruchel

Wed, Sep 19 2007, 3:12 pm

When my husband learned (through my dad, who mentioned it by mistake lol) that I was an ex professional singer, he asked a rav if I could sing something for him, and was told that since there were feelings between us it was not possible at all(at that time we were engaged), but interestingly during nidda if both agree to it it would be ok.

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Sep 19 2007, 3:56 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

A friend told me that a woman's breast is not considered erva when she is nursing. You'll need to check with your Rav, but that could answer that question. As far as lullabies go, I have always understood them as not-erva as well...that singing to calm a baby was fine.

I have heard something of this nature in regards to nursing. Speak with your rav to find out what it entails halachically for YOU.
Please note that a man cannot GAZE at his wife's erva when she is a nidda. If you have to be uncovered for a couple seconds to latch, and then pull your shirt down with nothing appearing, he just doesn't have to look! I don't find that nursing is that big a deal.

As far as singing, my rav told me that singing to your child to calm him down if nothing else works I shouldn't worry about. Try to sing softly, but it's not done as regular singing, but rather in a different soothing tone, so I shouldn't worry too much about it.

su7kids

Wed, Sep 19 2007, 6:50 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

I have heard something of this nature in regards to nursing. Speak with your rav to find out what it entails halachically for YOU.

I learned that, too, and it was in relation to Mikvah, too, because we cross our arms across our waist when we make the brocha (although many women choose to cover their breasts) to separate the nakedness when we make a brocha. Then I asked about why the breasts were not considered nakedness and was told that it is only more recently that they have become s*x symbols and their main purpose is for feeding. The rest is a bonus.

So, again, I recommend you ask your Rav.

NotInNJMommy

Wed, Sep 19 2007, 8:25 pm

I don't know so much about the nursing, bc I have not yet been able to successfully nurse my children.

Singing, I remember learning I thought out of R. Jacobs book, but I could be wrong, that singing to soothe a child in front of DH is ok, and it's strongly preferable to at least go into another room. From that I understand to just not physically be in the same room and be on the softer side of normal.

Not singing while niddah is the hardest thing for me. I am always making up little silly songs when I'm playing with my children...