What would you do?

amother

Seashell

Thu, Jun 28 2018, 5:46 pm

animeme wrote:

I don't think there's anything wrong with bringng a single portion for a family member with a lot of dietary restrictions. But you let the hostess know you will be doing so and why, and you cook it yourself.

OP here- There are no dietary restrictions just a preference.

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Jun 28 2018, 6:55 pm

imasinger wrote:

Trying to be dl"z.

Is there any chance she might think you could have a kashrus issue if she had cooked it?

But wouldn't there be a kashrus issue either way, if it was just a single piece of chicken? And why not ask the hostess beforehand, before handing her a piece of chicken to cook? This whole story sounds odd to me. Especially for a food preference, and not dietary restrictions.

librarygirl

Thu, Jun 28 2018, 8:05 pm

Sounds like the lady knows you always make dark meat chicken and since her husband prefers white, brought you a piece to throw in with yours. You could look at it as polite of her not to request it and make you run and buy something you don't have in the house. If you don't make any chicken, I agree it's rude to make you cook an extra dish. Also, if you would eat at her house, why would anyone think it a kashrus issue to cook her chicken? In my community all the stores are under the same hechsher.

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Jun 28 2018, 8:08 pm

animeme wrote:

You bring for everyone. It is rude to have a different food for one person. What if others also want white meat?

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Jun 28 2018, 8:09 pm

She must have figured that you will bake your chicken tomorrow so you can just add that piece to the pan..... she also must feel close enough to do that. I doubt she meant that you should separately bake a lone piece of chicken for her husband. It’s not so classy but she didn’t mean anything bad. She just wants to be comfortable when they come. If it’s enjoyable when they come, of course you should continue the friendship.

Raisin

Fri, Jun 29 2018, 2:06 am

If you host a lot and only serve chicken legs you should know there are some people who will only eat white. (although most people prefer legs) Unless you don't care if your guests go hungry, I would try and do a couple of pieces of white each time you have a crowd.

If it doesn't get eaten its great for chicken salad shabbos day. Or sandwiches.

I agree bringing over a piece of raw chicken is a bit odd. (but not the oddest thing in the world) But if you are anyway serving chicken, nothing strange about giving one person a breast and the others legs. If you are serving meatballs or roast or something else its more awkward.

Last edited by Raisin on Fri, Jun 29 2018, 2:26 am; edited 1 time in total

WhatFor

Fri, Jun 29 2018, 2:25 am

Raisin wrote:

OP didn't say she planned to serve chicken at all.

OP- assuming it was packaged and meets your kashrut standards, I'd throw it in the oven and probably not invite again unless I absolutely loved them otherwise.

If you have any kashrut concerns, I'd call and say, "Sorry, I was caught off guard in the moment, but I now realize that in my house, we don't use outside meat that's been opened (or whatever the issue is) so I'm unfortunately unable to cook it. I'm home at x times, if you'd like to pick it up and cook it; maybe your DH can eat it before coming over. We'd love to see you."

Sometimes people do weird things that put you in the situation of saying weird things.

Raisin

Fri, Jun 29 2018, 2:36 am

WhatFor wrote:

I assume OP serves only chicken legs and that is what prompted this request. (in my circles people pretty much always serve chicken friday night)

I don't think this is a horrible or rude thing to do. Sometimes people do odd things. And there might be a good reason the friend doesn't want to reveal. Maybe he is on a strict diet for his health and he knows if he is sitting at a table without healthy protein he will gorge on challah. Maybe he doesn't want people to know he suffers from an illness such as crohns which limits his food choices.

I agree the politer thing to do would be to make a full dish of chicken, enough for everyone at the table to have some.