Lakewood peer pressure

amother

Pink

Wed, Jul 18 2018, 4:16 pm

I did not read this whole thread. Just skimmed the first and last page. But....wow....what a different world than the world I grew up in or the world I live in now.

I can't fathom a world where grown women are actually constantly comparing sheitals, jewlery and buggies. I mean, my word. This is so beyond me.

It's not that I don't understand that people can be jealous. But in my world, usually that is limited to the big things like housing. I have never heard anyone discuss anyone else's jewlery, unless to compliment someone sincerely. To stress over dressing as well as everyone else? That must be so stressful every single morning.

Boys are into brand names? My teen girls and their friends all think that only פראיירים pay big bucks for brand names. They all try to shop frugally even though some of these families are rather well off. Maybe I just lucked out where I live (in Israel, although I'm sure every city is different here). They all share their clothes with one another freely. (ETA - they are aware of brand names and will sometimes indulge. But it certainly isn't their whole focus, and they don't value the girl who decided to spend her hard earned 500 nis on a Michael Kors watch any more because of it).

What I am reading here sounds like an alien world.

naturalmom5

Wed, Jul 18 2018, 5:36 pm

debsey wrote:

\

I'm not sure how you are figuring that.

I can get a dozen bagels and two pounds of tuna at bagel nosh and feed my whole family supper (OK, with a homemade salad and ice cream for dessert)

If I took my entire family to Ottimo for supper, the bill would be well over 200.00.

Sure - the fries in both places might be a similar amount of money, but once we're talking food, there's no comparison.

(Ottimo is not in my kollel wife budget........ even with a professional salary.)

For a large family you are right.
Definitely.
I go to Ottimo for lunch by myself spend 10$ and I'm deliriously happy. The good feeling lasts a month
I go to BN spend the same 10$ . Between the atmosphere and food I feel real cheated and disgruntled.

amother

Black

Wed, Jul 18 2018, 8:19 pm

I live in Lakewood and my boys are definitely into their brand of sneakers. Luckily I"m typically able to find them what they want for $40 or less. If over $50 they have to pay the difference. Its the only thing they care about. Their entire weekday wardrobe is either Children's Place or Walmart or hand me downs (Serendipity doesn't really have a large big boys selection). Briefcases (off brand) and Coats they are happy to reuse for 3 years or until it rips or they out grow it. Sneakers is just their thing, and if that is it I'm happy to oblige - don't see a reason to insist on New Balance or Sketchers.

But I grew up OOT and when my brother who is almost 40 sees theirs shoes he laughs - remembering putting my mother through the Same Exact Thing. Sometimes I think we just remember the past with rose colored glasses.

(BTW I live in such a simple area of Lakewood we joke that kids around here rarely have shabbos shoes before first grade and don't own a shabbos coat until bar mitzva. It is so laid back - I live in my 'fancy' home - 2 bedrooms with 5 - almost 6 kids - and my kids think our house is a mansion. And DH and I both work full time and make nice salaries - there is just no competition - DH feels bad raising standards if other kids have less in the area - plus we believe in saving so between tuition and savings there isn't too much extra anyway)

debsey

Wed, Jul 18 2018, 9:01 pm

amother wrote:

A six year old boy I know spent 10 minutes explaining his $100+ Nike LeBron's to me. He happens to be MO, and definitely not from Lakewood.

My good friend who lives in Woodmere talks about her boys being very into brand names. I don't know if she identifies as MO, but her husband definitely has his degree from YU and I don't imagine she identifies as yeshivish in any way. I don't think this is a solely Boro Park/Lakewood phenomenon.

debsey

Wed, Jul 18 2018, 9:06 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

Yes, my fondest pregnancy memory is when I was on bedrest and my friend brought me a takeout meal from Ottimo. I never had a pumpkin bisque that tasted so good in my life (I never had a pumpkin bisque in my life, ever, but that was one good soup!) The gesture was lovely too, but the food was amazing.

But if I don't have to cook, and I buy 2 pounds of Bagel Nosh tuna and a dozen bagels, and my kids eat it happily and thank me for the yummy treat - I'm deliriously happy! No cooking, no cleanup. Just a line to stand on (that I can outsource to teenagers).

No one bash me - I know kollel families are supposed to eat bread and water. I'm not on programs. Your tax dollars are not supporting this extravagance.