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Forum -> Parenting our children
What percentage of parents don't discipline their kids?
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What percentage of parents don't discipline their kids?
zero - Everyone disciplines  
 15%  [ 12 ]
10% (1 in 10)  
 32%  [ 25 ]
15% (1 in 7)  
 19%  [ 15 ]
20% (1 in 5)  
 7%  [ 6 ]
25% (1 in 4)  
 14%  [ 11 ]
> 25% (worse)  
 11%  [ 9 ]
Total Votes : 78



WastingTime




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 12:13 pm
Wait. Why is this being revived after 3 yrs!!??
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 1:05 pm
WastingTime wrote:
Wait. Why is this being revived after 3 yrs!!??

Because someone responded to a comment without looking to see the date of the thread.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 1:27 pm
amother wrote:
Depends, if you ask my teenage DS, I am the only parent in his entire school who disciplines him.


You might be. A teenager is usually too old to be disciplined, at least in the traditional way.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 1:40 pm
amother wrote:
You might be. A teenager is usually too old to be disciplined, at least in the traditional way.

So they just get free reign? Teenagers need rules too...
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amother
Amber


 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 2:20 pm
eema of 3 wrote:
So they just get free reign? Teenagers need rules too...


No free reign of course, but hopefully by the time they are teens they have internalized some of your expectations and they are in a school that fits your values.
You can discuss things with your teen, express disappointment etc but I dont see much room for disciplinary measures.
I dont think grounding a teen or taking away electronics does much other than antagonize..
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 2:57 pm
amother wrote:
No free reign of course, but hopefully by the time they are teens they have internalized some of your expectations and they are in a school that fits your values.
You can discuss things with your teen, express disappointment etc but I dont see much room for disciplinary measures.
I dont think grounding a teen or taking away electronics does much other than antagonize..

Teenagers can lose responsibilities or privileges, just like younger kids. Is that not discipline? You have to know your kid. For some kids, teens included, grounding or losing things would work. There is no one size fits all, even within one family.
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 4:49 pm
..

Last edited by amother on Mon, Aug 20 2018, 4:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
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happyone




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 4:51 pm
Seriously, what do you consider discipline?
Bahavior by example, punishments, rewarding good behaviour, corporal punishment , taking away privileges and so on...
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mirror




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:17 pm
It depends where. I have a friend who teaches Pre-1-A in Lakewood. On the first day of school, one girl said "No" when my friend asked her to do something. The entire class whispered, "You never say no to a Morah." This girl quickly fell into line.

I heard from a Rav that if there are no consequences to your actions, then how can you learn to fear Hashem? People make the mistake and think that if they don't discipline their kids then their kids will never go off the derech. What we are seeing now is that children who are not disciplined are more likely to go off the derech as adults because they never develop Yiras Shamayim.
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momof2+?




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 20 2018, 11:31 pm
Sorry eema of 3, I forgot I was looking at old threads.

I think a lot of it boils down to how the situation looks. If I go with my kids to someone else's house and my kids are acting wild, Do I try to calm them down? Do I ignore and just keep shmoozing with the other mother? Then a kid gets hurt, or a picture frame breaks. Do I feel bad? Do I let the kids leave the place a mess?

And if I would have a child that is behaviorally challenged, I would still apologize and try to control as much as possible. Leave if I need to.

Maybe I'm wrong, but seeing the wild kid doesn't tell you how much the parent disciplines. Seeing the parents reaction does.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 21 2018, 9:14 am
mirror wrote:
It depends where. I have a friend who teaches Pre-1-A in Lakewood. On the first day of school, one girl said "No" when my friend asked her to do something. The entire class whispered, "You never say no to a Morah." This girl quickly fell into line.

Never?
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 21 2018, 10:04 am
momof2+? wrote:
Sorry eema of 3, I forgot I was looking at old threads.

I think a lot of it boils down to how the situation looks. If I go with my kids to someone else's house and my kids are acting wild, Do I try to calm them down? Do I ignore and just keep shmoozing with the other mother? Then a kid gets hurt, or a picture frame breaks. Do I feel bad? Do I let the kids leave the place a mess?

And if I would have a child that is behaviorally challenged, I would still apologize and try to control as much as possible. Leave if I need to.

Maybe I'm wrong, but seeing the wild kid doesn't tell you how much the parent disciplines. Seeing the parents reaction does.

You seem to think that I wouldn’t, that I would just let my kids run wild. I never said that, and that is absolutely not the way I parent.
Side note, I think parent would be a better word to use here than discipline.
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mirror




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 21 2018, 9:02 pm
imasoftov wrote:
Never?


I am not trying to read into it, but I can see why you would be alarmed.
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