Tips for middle schooler with executive functioning issues?

amother

Linen

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 7:43 am

Any parents, therapists, teachers, or SPED specialists who can help me prepare my DS who loses everything?

This year, he'll have to change classrooms more than once, so his problems are going to be more pronounced. He'll have to keep his things in a cubby in the hall, rather than a classroom desk or shelf.

He just cannot seem to remember, especially when he's stressed, to put stuff away. He loses pens and pencils, important papers, the project he was working on for days, textbooks.

Someone suggested that I get him a binder for each subject, and put spiral notebooks in, rather than rely on folders and loose paper, as some teachers put on the supply list. I did that.

I'm putting a pencil case in a couple of the binders, as well as giving him a big central one to store in the cubby like the other guys do.

This year, he has some more expensive things to keep track of. A USB key. I got him one that can hook on to a binder or backpack. A 3 hole punch. I got him a nice one that's lightweight but easier to operate than those little strips that fit in a binder, because he has fine motor issues. If I have to replace those a few times, we're out a lot more than the cost of erasers or pencils.

All the teachers wanted plastic 2-prong folders, but maybe I should use some other system?

All tips and advice appreciated.

debbie321

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 7:54 am

Take pictures of his supply box, the central box of supplies, his binder eith things in it( all visible in picture, make copies of the pics. Put inside the binder, in his cubby, in his spirals.
Also, write a clear, list, ie: math: bring looseleaf, pencil case, text book. And have a pic of these 3 things...

debbie321

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 8:02 am

debbie321 wrote:

And put list /pic on his folder( if hes uncomf with it being on cover, on the inside of the spiral)
Have him do a practice run at home. Where he has 2 remind himself betwern classes he has 2 check what he needs, which will mostly be a pencil case and looseleaf/spiral.
Same for when he finishes a class. 2 put everything back in his knapsack/locker

mamaroo

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 10:39 am

Do you know the fabric bags they sell instead of plastic...
Do a separate one for each subject so he just needs to change bags, and take his pencil case
So even if things aren’t neat all the things that belong to the subject are in the same bag and he is not loosing them
Even if he has homework have him bring the whole bag home... so all the stuf is there and he doesn’t forget anything
When he brings the bag home you can help him put everything neatly into the binder ...

teachkids

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 11:16 am

Totally different kind of advice here:

Instead of giving him more folders and binders to keep track of and places to put things away, minimize.
He's not going to put each paper properly in the binder without someone reminding him, so just give him a folder for loose papers. That way the random papers are going somewhere and not getting lost. Then, once a week he sorts them to where they belong. Whenever he needs a paper, first check if it's in the place it belongs, then that folder. gets rid of all the other options.

See if you can have 1 big binder with dividers for current papers and then somewhere else to keep old papers. Less switching is better.

amother

Aqua

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 11:34 am

As someone who struggled with executive function issues (NVLD) that were diagnosed too late: please please please don't get angry or upset with him if he happens to lose something. I went through school hearing "you didn't bring home x thing again?" with full exasperated tone and everything. It only made me want to hide whenever I did forget something. Also just be aware that sometimes ef issues can hide behind lazy and stubborn.

Having a central location to keep his stuff is great. I only hd to change classrooms really in high school, and keeping everything either in my bag or my locker helped. The key thing though, is when he's stressed and overwhelmed and possibly overstimulated, is to make things a nonissue. Getting him revved up will only make things worse.

For some other things that he loses, can you brainstorm with him to find one spot that he will continually put them in? Even if he will still lose them occasionally (I was forever leaving my keys or metro card places) if he thinks of the best spot for them it might help him remember more. If only to give him less places to retrace his steps. But it has to come from him.

Either way kudos for trying to help him through this.

amother

Linen

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 12:04 pm

These are helpful, keep 'em coming.

Amother aqua, I particularly appreciate your feedback.

amother

Rose

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 12:10 pm

My high school dd struggles w executive function issues and I bought her a planner. Told her before she leaves school she must look it over, see what is due for homework and get the books.
It helped somewhat.

Right now she really struggles with time management, prioritizing etc.
I'd love a book or game (online or board game) to help her with these tasks.

amother

Aqua

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 2:47 pm

amother wrote:

These are helpful, keep 'em coming.

Amother aqua, I particularly appreciate your feedback.

My pleasure! Feel free to ask more if you need.

amother

Cobalt

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 6:38 pm

Sarah Ward is an author/ presenter /SLP who deals with these issues. Perhaps you can attend a workshop?

amother

Linen

Thu, Aug 23 2018, 6:42 pm

amother wrote:

Sarah Ward is an author/ presenter /SLP who deals with these issues. Perhaps you can attend a workshop?

I live OOT, so unless she offers something online, not likely.

seeker

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 12:00 am

teachkids wrote:

I STRONGLY agree with this.

I have a lot of experience with these issues in both personal and professional life. I can't at all claim to be an expert or to have found the magic solution but I've seen a lot of action in this game. It's always something of a puzzle to figure out which system will work for each person - there's no one size fits all approach, and you also need to adapt to the situation that changes with different teachers and grade levels.

But generally, I agree with the quoted post. Systems with many moving parts, no matter how fun and color coded they are, carry a much heavier cognitive demand. You want to focus on creating a SIMPLE ROUTINE, rather than on organizing the materials. Organizing is important, sure, but without a simple routine it's an ongoing frustrating project. What teachkids is describing is a method I've adapted many times, it is exactly that type of simple routine:
1) Get paper - put in folder.
2) Homework time - sort folder.
There is very little for the child to mix up there, especially since he'll be doing the sorting with you or a tutor/coach/whoever to support. See if you can do the hole-punching at sorting time so you can keep the hole puncher home, too.

A few more notes:
If teachers requested pronged folders, provide them. If it turns out they're being used instead of binders, you can consider changing things up - but it's very possible they need all the students to have the same thing for uniform class systems. You don't want your kid to have to engage in mental translation when the teacher says "OK everyone, take out your red folder."

Make sure everything has his name all over it, of course.

Kids often get thrown off-kilter when they don't have time to prepare between classes. Instead of planning for locker visits, can he take along everything he needs for morning through lunch, and then everything he needs for afternoon? Again, fewer locker stops also means fewer cognitive demands. Again, simple routine:
Arrive in school. Go to locker. See list. Get the stuff on the "Monday morning" list. Done.
Schlepping around a heavy (or wheeled) backpack is often worth it for the kid to not have to worry as much about having the right things in the right places.

Sarah Ward and Kristen Jacobsen are not NY based, they give courses all over the place that are helpful for both parents and teachers. Your kid is lucky to have a parent who's working so hard to set him up for success! I think you would gain a lot if you do happen to have the opportunity to hear them.

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 1:22 am

I'm going to repeat seeker and teach kid's advice. Simplify! Another idea if your child will be using a looseleaf is to fill it up with sheet protectors. This way your child won't be busy with hole punchers etc. And it will also keep it really neat. I've also spent a bit more on better quality notebooks, folders and other supplies. Is important that they don't bend out of shape easily when dumped into a briefcase.
Routines and habits are really important. I made a wipe off chart for my second grader broken down into tiny steps. Take out yiddish homework. Do Yiddish homework. Have Mommy sign homework paper. Put papers back into folder. Put folder into briefcase. Take out English homework.... Zipper briefcase closed. Hang briefcase on hook. She was so cooperative, and although she continued using the chart, by the end of the year she didn't really need it.

solo

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 4:15 am

I just read through this and it sounds like my 5 yr old, who is really struggling. How does one get diagnosed or treated for nvld in Brooklyn?

amother

Aqua

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 7:01 am

solo wrote:

I just read through this and it sounds like my 5 yr old, who is really struggling. How does one get diagnosed or treated for nvld in Brooklyn?

So, the woman who diagnosed me I think is no longer around (she was at the forefront of this), but the psychiatrist who did the real testing might be around still in Manhattan. Please look at NVLDonline I think the website it called. They might be able to refer you to someone.

Also please note: NVLD shows up differently in everyone, it's often hard to diagnose unless you go to someone who knows it, or you know about it. One person's NVLD is often different than anothers. And just because my (or anyone else's) brain had a good day and could do one particular task doesn't mean I'll be able to do it the next day.

It makes me so happy that people are getting aware!

amother

Pewter

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 7:51 am

My 4th graders teacher recommended OT for this exact issue. He's going for an evaluation in a couple weeks.

oneofakind

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 8:30 am

I think the rush at the end of the day to make the bus/ride home puts more pressure on the child and makes it harder for them to take the time to figure out what they need to take home. If it's at all possible, make another easy arrangement for transportation home I.e. can you pick them up, so they can take the time to get their act together.

seeker

Fri, Aug 24 2018, 9:29 am

solo wrote:

I just read through this and it sounds like my 5 yr old, who is really struggling. How does one get diagnosed or treated for nvld in Brooklyn?

Almost nobody really diagnoses NVLD anymore. They realized that all the symptoms fit within criteria for other disorders. And you never go to get diagnosed with something specific - a diagnostic process needs to be open ended in order to arrive at the best conclusions.

If you suspect any kind of learning disability, look for an educational psychologist or a neuropsychologist.