How to transition to working full time?

amother

Amber

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 9:12 pm

For those who have four children or more and either are single mothers or have a husband who is not present emotionally and/or physically how do you work full time and tend to all the physical needs of your children, household, and self?
Please help!

amother

Salmon

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 9:26 pm

I am a single mother of four children. I work 25+ hours a week with a 1/2 hour commute each way. I come home from work just on time to quickly get supper on table. Have cleaning help once a week. I don't work Friday so that is the day for Doctor /dentist appointments. Email grocery order for delivery. Friday afternoon is cooking for Shabbos. And Sunday is for laundry and whatever housework I can get to and errands.
How many hours will you be working?

amother

Salmon

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 9:33 pm

I also don't push myself too far and expect too much out of myself. I let a lot of housework go and don't keep standards that I would normally like. I found that if I do too much I have no patience for children and they are ignored or worse. I prepare Yom tov and simchas well in advance. And buy whatever I couldn't do myself.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 10:17 pm

Im not managing at all. And the worst part is that everyone assumes I have it easy and think that I have full time help. But, I have no help and cant afford any. The craziest thing is everyone says hire help but dont tell u wat to do wen u hav no money for it. Life is hard for some ppl. I push and push myself but im not managing (inside). Fri. Night im exhausted and falling asleep and the worst part is I have no strength to go to my kids perfomances etc but nobody understands why.

amother

Brown

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 11:18 pm

amother wrote:

She said full time, which is generally 40+ hours.

It sounds like you work very part time, with a much shorter commute than most people. I'm happy for you, but this is not what the OP is asking about.

amother

Brown

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 11:20 pm

amother wrote:

Also curious how you afford that when you work so part time. Genuinely curious. Do you live a very low cost area? Are you very highly paid? Do you have outside financial assistance? Lots of alimony/child support?

amother

Tan

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 11:20 pm

I have 2 little children, and started working full time recently, and I am not managing at all. I don't know how people do it with 4! I feel for you OP. I come home exhausted, with no physical/emotional energy left for my kids. One of my children has anxiety issues and tantrums A LOT. She needs lots of love and attention, which she's somewhat being deprived of right now. My husband has mental health issues and isn't present physically or emotionally right now.
I opened this thread hoping to figure out a routine that will make it easier to juggle it all...

amother

Maroon

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 11:48 pm

I went back to work once my youngest was in school. I started part-time and am in the process of transitioning to full time. I started working from 10-3 and now I am working from 9-4 and then another hour at home.

Fridays - I work from home.

DH doesnt help. He works full time and commutes to work. He does have the ability to work from home, and does when a kid is sick. We take turns.