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InnerMe
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 11:03 am
Tzutzie this thread is so inspiring. I am in awe of your accepting and positive attitude.
Did you ever feel different then other children in school?
Did it affect your social standing in the classroom?
Were your parents supportive and accepting about your diagnosis?
Is your confidence and self acceptance something you worked on or are you just a happy person by nature?
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Tzutzie
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 11:21 am
InnerMe wrote: | Tzutzie this thread is so inspiring. I am in awe of your accepting and positive attitude.
Did you ever feel different then other children in school?
Did it affect your social standing in the classroom?
Were your parents supportive and accepting about your diagnosis?
Is your confidence and self acceptance something you worked on or are you just a happy person by nature? |
Thank you for your kind words.
I did feel different from other kids. I even convinced myself that there was something wrong with me. I was smaller than most kids. Extrmely thin and did not have the typical facial features in a satmar school. Did I mention I had a unibrow?
So yea....
It did because I of how I saw myself.
But I also was never alone becuase I was good at all social activities we did at lunch time. Also I was great at other things. Especially math. I was the one who always finished quizzes first, who would be bored after the teacher would explain the math the first time and girls often wanted my help in math. So that helped a lot. But I never really connected with any friends in school. I had deep shame and had lots of walls built up all around me.
To this day, my close friends aren't even my classmates or even from the same city as me....
My mother had a hard time dealing with it and more or less ignored it. Other than when the school pushed her to do something about it.
With my father it didn't matter. It didnt matter in the sense that, I was whoever I was. And he was my father. And he loved me.
I knew he was always there to listen. But I rarely ever talked about it. He did ask and would somethings go thru my sister if I didnt talk. And he'd help more 'under the scenes'. He'd help me becuase I was having a hard time. Not because a diagnosis mattered. I am his daughter and that's it. And this ties into your last question.
I am naturally a helplessly upbeat happy person. And I thank hashem because I wouldn't be where I am today if not for that.
I did work on my confidence and my self acceptance a lot though. Having my father as my father helped tons. I also have to give lots of credit to my grandparents for that. For for my happy nature that I gentcally got from thrn
Lol. And for their love and support. They always knew when I was hiding a broken heart even though I was upbeat.
I miss them a lot.
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InnerMe
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 11:36 am
Tzutzie wrote: | Thank you for your kind words.
I did feel different from other kids. I even convinced myself that there was something wrong with me. I was smaller than most kids. Extrmely thin and did not have the typical facial features in a satmar school. Did I mention I had a unibrow?
So yea....
It did because I of how I saw myself.
But I also was never alone becuase I was good at all social activities we did at lunch time. Also I was great at other things. Especially math. I was the one who always finished quizzes first, who would be bored after the teacher would explain the math the first time and girls often wanted my help in math. So that helped a lot. But I never really connected with any friends in school. I had deep shame and had lots of walls built up all around me.
To this day, my close friends aren't even my classmates or even from the same city as me....
My mother had a hard time dealing with it and more or less ignored it. Other than when the school pushed her to do something about it.
With my father it didn't matter. It didnt matter in the sense that, I was whoever I was. And he was my father. And he loved me.
I knew he was always there to listen. But I rarely ever talked about it. He did ask and would somethings go thru my sister if I didnt talk. And he'd help more 'under the scenes'. He'd help me becuase I was having a hard time. Not because a diagnosis mattered. I am his daughter and that's it. And this ties into your last question.
I am naturally a helplessly upbeat happy person. And I thank hashem because I wouldn't be where I am today if not for that.
I did work on my confidence and my self acceptance a lot though. Having my father as my father helped tons. I also have to give lots of credit to my grandparents for that. For for my happy nature that I gentcally got from thrn
Lol. And for their love and support. They always knew when I was hiding a broken heart even though I was upbeat.
I miss them a lot. |
Wow. So inspiring Tzutzie. Especially the different ways your parents dealt with it and how your father's love made all the difference. Keep spreading your sunshine girl!
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InnerMe
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 11:41 am
One more question- do you feel that the chassidish environment you were raised in made certain parts of this diagnosis harder? Perhaps there'd be more support in a different type of community?
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Tzutzie
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 12:15 pm
InnerMe wrote: | One more question- do you feel that the chassidish environment you were raised in made certain parts of this diagnosis harder? Perhaps there'd be more support in a different type of community? |
I think it was the time. I beleive I lucked out on the school. Because although academics were important, there was a huge stress on middos and other aspects. And so on. Academics wasn't the end all be all.
Had I been in a more intense academic environment it would have completly crushed me.
I think with boys it would have been harder.
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InnerMe
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 12:20 pm
Tzutzie wrote: | I think it was the time. I beleive I lucked out on the school. Because although academics were important, there was a huge stress on middos and other aspects. And so on. Academics wasn't the end all be all.
Had I been in a more intense academic environment it would have completly crushed me.
I think with boys it would have been harder. |
That makes a lot of sense.
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kiddo
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 2:48 pm
Wow! You are an inspiration! Kuddos to you!!!
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oliveoil
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 3:25 pm
Did kids make fun of you at school?
If so, would you want an apology for that years later, as an adult?
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Tzutzie
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Mon, Nov 05 2018, 4:43 pm
oliveoil wrote: | Did kids make fun of you at school?
If so, would you want an apology for that years later, as an adult? |
I honestly don't remember a lot. I was too busy surviving and in my own world.
There were a few things that I don't think I'll ever forget. But I do not want an apology. We were kids. I'm sure I also wasn't always the nicest. Kids are kids.
But I do remember some teachers who were especially cruel. 2nd grade yiddish and 5th grade english.
I have forgiven them. It's been a long time and there is no use holding on to a grudge. It won't change what happened.
My 2nd grade teacher I met 2 years ago when I went back to my home town. I cannot say it didn't rattle me when I saw her on the street. She did not recognize me. And I didn't care to introduce myself.
Teachers can make such a huge difference.
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