Do you wear modest nightgowns?

amother

Navy

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 11:50 am

amother wrote:

In the winter?

In winter I still wear nothing. I have a duvet and DH (also in nothing) to keep me warm. If I go downstairs I wear a bathrobe in case a kid is around. I will also put on a robe if I am wearing a babydoll and may encounter kids. Before we sleep I do wear nightgowns that are not particularly Tznius as only my DH generally sees me in them. I’m not bothered if the kids see me in them though and I don’t cover my hair at home either. I wear slippers for hygiene/warmth, not Tznius, nice flip flops in the hotter months.

In Niddah I just wear normal PJs winter or shorts/cami set summer.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 11:54 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

Quote:

Some answers, as they come to mind... Not in any specific order:
A) my children (I don't have a master bathroom)
B) I don't feel comfortable in untznius clothing. I've been wearing nightgown since I was young-maybe 8/10 years old
C) tznius is not only when other see you. It's mehudar to try to be tznius as much as possible. The shechina is present.
D) the zohar says that women who are tznius in the home have good children

I really would feel uncomfortable in untznius clothing. I am someone who it's very makpid in tznius in general. (Only wear tights, wear a full slip, my sheitel is not long and I am 30 yo)

My son would be very uncomfortable seeing me in pjs.he doesn't like it when his younger sister wears knee socks and her skirt flies up.

My husband wouldn't want me walking around not covered in front of the kids.

Truthfully, I don't have special lingerie that I wear. as a kallah, I bought a beautiful satin sleeveless nightgown with a matching robe, but don't feel comfortable in it. I only wore it a few times during first few years of marriage. It is hidden in my closet.

Regarding the bolded, I just want to point something out. I always learned that fhere is no inyan of tznius in a bedroom. If one wants to sleep with nothing, that’s perfectly fine. The inyan of being tzanua as much as possible is when tznius is applicable.

Regarding your next point, tznius in the home means outside of the bedroom. It is definitely praiseworthy to dress within the guidelines of tznius when one is home, and others will not be seeing them.
Regarding the other bolded point, Bay is HIS issue, not your daughters. You and your husband set the household guidelines, not your son. He can not impose HIS restrictions on your daughter. If you and your husband have determined that your daughter needs to wear xyz when out of her bedroom, and she does that, your son needs to turn away when she does something he doesn’t like. My oldest is almost 12, and my next is an almost 10 year old girl, who loves to do gymnastics all over the house. (Literally- playroom, living room, dining room, kitchen, hallways....wherever she can) My husband and I told her that she needs to wear shorts when doing this. However, if we had determined that she didn’t need to, my son would have to look the other way, should he be bothered by her skirt going up. (Or down, if she is upside down)

This thread was not about times of relations. I attempted to differentiate by not putting it in the intimacy forum.

OT, but we don’t allow shorts for boys other than exercising or sports, and for older boys I don’t allow short sleeves. It’s been a good way to teach modesty and to teach kindness to ones wife IYH and women.

amother

Navy

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 11:55 am

amother wrote:

Am I the only one that doesn't wear anything? Dh and I sleep naked, maybe its just a bad habit we developed but were so uncomfortable in clothing at night.
I have a robe that ties in the front, I throw on when leaving the room. That robe is right near my bed.

Hey amother Pearl, we sleep naked too. I thought that was the norm! 🤣 It is a good not bad habit IMHO! We too have robes on our door.

IrenaFr

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 11:56 am

amother wrote:

funny story I have to share. When we were first married dh told me that we are really supposed to sleep naked after relations. I hated it and very sooo uncomfortable and cold.

We weren't religious when we got married and it was so uncomfortable to hug each other in clothes when falling asleep Smile

I feel like the clothes don't let me feel close to my husband at night . So when I am in bed with the husband - naked, when alone - pj or night gown.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 12:01 pm

amother wrote:

For those of you who don't change your white sheet or night wear, do your kids ever ask questions? Like why do you have a different sheet than the pillow case and blanket cover

No questions ever. I use a white sheet set.

nchr

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 12:06 pm

amother wrote:

Hey amother Pearl, we sleep naked too. I thought that was the norm! 🤣 It is a good not bad habit IMHO! We too have robes on our door.

People, including Jews slept naked for years. That's why sheets were white during 7 nekiim. However, today it is not as accepted and I sleep tzniusdig but would never judge someone who does not. Everyone should do as they plese.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 12:10 pm

nchr wrote:

Who told you it's not accepted? Not talking about during Nidda obviously.

Aylat

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 12:41 pm

amother wrote:

For those of you who don't change your white sheet or night wear, do your kids ever ask questions? Like why do you have a different sheet than the pillow case and blanket cover

They'd be more likely to comment if any bed linen in our house did match.

IrenaFr

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 12:43 pm

nchr wrote:

I thought that tzniusdig is something that we show (or don't show ) to others (except the husband) . But in the dark, under the thick duvet, in the closed room , how it can be NOT tzniusdig ? Like nobody sees you, even the husband .

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 12:53 pm

amother wrote:

Its actually pretty simple, hold up my blanket slip my robe off and get into bed.

And let the blood get everywhere?

Also you naked sleepers never have kids come to your bed?

watergirl

Thu, Feb 07 2019, 12:58 pm

amother wrote:

And let the blood get everywhere?

Also you naked sleepers never have kids come to your bed?

Ok..... enough. Not sure why any of this is anyone else’s business and this thread is just too much.