Worthy enough to share?

pause

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 9:21 am

Firstly, it's about the type of stories one is sharing.

Secondly and more importantly, in the olden times, if someone had a story to share, they had to find a writer to write it up, usually staying anonymous. There's something about sharing your story anonymously - which allows people to be inspired but doesn't in any way appear to be a call for attention on the part of the protagonist.
These days everything is about the "likes" and the popularity ratings. It takes the sincerity and inspiration out of it.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 9:22 am

itsmeima wrote:

Between the discussions about Mic Drop and Social Media, I've been wondering, when does one become worthy enough to share their story?

Because we've all been inspired by personal stories.

Is it age, status, the platform they are using...?

When you can give over a message of growth without throwing anyone else under the bus. Beyond that anyone can find the right platform.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 9:58 am

I think "worthy" is not quite the right word. It implies that some people's life experiences are not valid or important. Every story is worthy.

The question is, when is it WISE to share, and among whom. The more you share, the more you open yourself to repercussions, as well as rewards. If you understand that, then you can make better decisions.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:16 am

itsmeima wrote:

Is it betrayal, if it's a story of survival? Isn't every story of survival in some way ”throwing someone under the bus”?

No. There are many people who experienced circumstances in life that no one can be blamed for, or the person himself takes responsibility for unwise decisions that led to various repercussions. Even if there are parts where the responsibility clearly lay with others, it's a choice how one chooses to portray it and whether it's the crux of the message or a side point.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:18 am

amother wrote:

you can share about life growing up as an orphan but how do you share about life with an abusive husband without saying your husband is abusive? many life situations involve other people by default...which would mean that only people with certain life experiences could share.

There are different ways of telling the same story. You can focus on the abusive husband, what a horrible person he truly was, and detail life in that situation. Or you can focus on your internal experiences in those circumstances, and your personal journey of growth.

zaq

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 10:46 am

itsmeima wrote:

Is it betrayal, if it's a story of survival? Isn't every story of survival in some way ”throwing someone under the bus”?

Not at all. There isn’t a villain in every story. And even where there is a villain, or just someone who didn’t do the best job that could have been done, there ways to direct attention away from that fact. For example, one can say “my parents didn’t give me what I needed” or one can say “ It wasn’t possible for me to get what I needed.”

singleagain

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 1:01 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Totally agree that every story is worthy

As to what is wise... I think the best stories to share are the ones that made you feel all alone until someone else we like "omg, me too" the stories that get stigmatized and ppl approach with a "that won't happen to me" bc you never know and it might.... Bc life doesn't discriminate. And things happen across the board.

This includes things like divorce, physical illness, mental illness, bedroom issues, parenting hardships, caring for parents/age issues, and more

The kind of stories you might not want to admit happen, but does. Those stories need to be shared so that ppl will know they aren't alone in this.

Obviously, the sensitive stories need to be carefully worded. But it should not be censored.

Example, I once wrote about my struggle with depression and how that affected my relationship with god. .... Someone decided to cut out important parts of my story, bc it briefly spoke of my anxiety over marital relations and how that contributed to my depression/divorce. But oh no .. We can't tell ppl who might read this book that others have martial issues like that. So I pulled my story.

I would still like to share it, bc I want young newlyweds to know that they shouldn't be ashamed of they have these fears/anxieties.

(Sorry if I got slightly off topic... But I think that's a story worth telling... Do you?)

Last edited by singleagain on Wed, Feb 20 2019, 1:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

imorethanamother

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 1:10 pm

itsmeima wrote:

I have an incredible story to share, one that I felt had a Torah message of growth, a call to action, etc.

I've never shared it. I thought about even telling it anonymously to Pesach Krohn, but again, decided against it. It has the potential to cause a random person pain, and even though the greater message is one of good, that small potential negates it entirely. Anonymous or not, it's not worth the risk.

sequoia

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 1:25 pm

Wrong.

My father’s an abusive psycho, and being abused by him as a small child, and a teenager, was just bad, negative, and harmful. I was traumatized. It f*cked up my brain. I jump visibly when I hear loud noises. I flinch when anyone moves their arms, to reach for something or to hug me - I think they’re going to hit me. And you are saying I have no right to tell my story unless I can do it without mentioning my father? How?

Also “growth” is a toxic positivity concept. I’m pretty awesome just for surviving.

itsmeima

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 5:58 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I love that!

The reason the word worthy came to mind is because after the discussions abt Mic Drop I’ve been wondering, if they would be Rebbetzins, would they be questioned...

itsmeima

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 6:04 pm

sequoia wrote:

Oh, I'm with you...
I personally think the world needs to hear more survival stories!

I'm so sorry what you had to go through, ”Sequoia”!