Losing my faith in humanity

amother

Emerald

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 12:23 pm

Within the past few months, my husband was financially scammed by two completely unrelated, frum, people that I personally know. They are established members of the community, with a wife and children. They now owe us hundreds of thousands of dollars, with no way to pay it back.
My husband is dealing with the technicalities of all this...
I just need help restoring my faith in humanity. Right now, I don't know how I can trust anyone ever again. These were people we have known for a while, who we thought were trustworthy enough...

southernbubby

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 12:49 pm

There was recently a credit card swiping scam that wasn't intended to be a scam but that lost money for all the people who did it to the tune of approximately 2 million.

watergirl

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 1:14 pm

amother wrote:

Can you get a psak to take them to court?

amother

Emerald

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 1:20 pm

watergirl wrote:

Can you get a psak to take them to court?

We probably can, but like I said, I'm leaving those decisions for my husband.
It's just that I keep thinking about this all day...we have lost almost all our hard-earned savings, not to mention our credit may end up going down the drain as well. And all because people have LIED. This is not simply an investment gone wrong...this was a well-covered scam. And that, I can't forgive. I just don't understand how someone goes to sleep at night knowing he has robbed others. Ugh.

southernbubby

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 2:06 pm

amother wrote:

In the case with the credit card swiping scheme, the business that was doing it went under so going to court won't help and it probably wasn't illegal so it's not going to help to prosecute it as a crime.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 2:08 pm

southernbubby wrote:

Not sure why you think this is what I'm referring to?

FranticFrummie

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 2:14 pm

Take them to beis din. Take them to court and get a lien on off of their properties. Make sure the whole community knows not to do any business with them. Stealing bread out the mouths of other people's children's' mouths is a serious crime.

It seems like I hear about these things all the time in the frum community. So many people want to run scams on their fellow Jews. Is this what comes from not learning an honest trade? People should get normal jobs, work hard, and be proud of what they earn.

This isn't even a new thing. In "Fiddler on the Roof", Tevye gets scammed by his wife's relatives, and he loses all of their life savings. He still goes on milking his cows at dawn, struggling, but knowing he's doing the right thing.

I overheard a frum guy once say "If you want to get rich, don't ever do business with Jews." He was not joking. He'd just been scammed himself. Such a sad state of affairs.

southernbubby

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 2:15 pm

amother wrote:

Not sure why you think this is what I'm referring to?

It was widespread and involved frum Jews; both the person doing it and the people who thought that they would benefit. Instead they lost $$$ and possibly felt the same way that you feel; scammed.
I guess that there is more than one scam going on.

imorethanamother

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 2:22 pm

amother wrote:

I don't even know how you're dealing with this right now. That's awful!

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 2:59 pm

I'm so sorry this happened to you. But you asked about restoring your faith in humanity. subscribe to 'a daily dose of kindness', sign up for DailyGiving.org, ask people to tell you inspiring stories.

Personally I can tell you that someone called to thank me for something last night that she didn't really have to call for. I did the thing as part of my responsibilities for an organization I work for. I would never have expected this thank you, but it was uplifting and a great opportunity to talk to such a wonderful person.

I hope you can find many of these types of stories and restore you faith in humanity. And I hope you successfully avoid these scammers from now on.

watergirl

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 3:06 pm

amother wrote:

I agree, sign up for dailygiving.org. I am so amazed with what they are doing. At least check it out. You will be inspired. People are generally good.

https://dailygiving.org/

amother

Navy

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 3:09 pm

southernbubby- can't help but think this is what comes from not giving boys career training.
OP- I'm so incredibly sorry for what you are going through. It sounds awful. My dh had a frum business partner who now owes us thousands of dollars...we lost a ton of money but it sounds like you lost even more and with him, he's even worse off, I don't think it was a scam. To be scammed by people you trusted that's just awful.

My dh and I had this conversation recently. Should we bother loaning people money anymore after the bad experience we had with his partner. Should we stop trusting people. We decided we still would but we would be careful to whom. There are a lot of good people in this world. They are often not the "big machers". We stay away from all the hock and we spend time with people who are simple good responsible people who aren't looking to become millionaires or be the most popular person. Trust me they exist.

mha3484

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 3:18 pm

I wonder if OP lives where I do. There was a huge scandal with some very "frum" people getting community members to invest with them and then keeping the profits. There are a bunch of lawsuits pending (including a RICO claim) its really bad. I know a whole business that is in the process of liquidating because the owners lost a lot of money with this person. Pillars of my community who supported so many good causes have lost huge sums of money.

I had a series of my own traumas years ago that really taught me not to put community members on a pedestal. For years I worried maybe I was too cynical but the more of these stories I hear the more cynical I want to be.